My first essay

Question

please can anybody tell me if I have a thesis on this paragraph/.

In , people do not appreciate that they have the best things in life. No one owes anyone anything if there are things in this world worth acquiring or aspiring to then, the only sure means of getting them is to work hard. Most American take for granted all sorts of things that people in other countries cannot afford. Americans are materialistic and always want what other people have.

I'll appreciated any comment and help

thanks.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

elnicheplease can anybody tell me if I have a thesis on this paragraph/.

my promp is

"are americans spoiled"

In America, people do not appreciate that they have the best things in life. No one owes anyone anything if there are things in this world worth acquiring or aspiring to then, the only sure means of getting them is to work hard. Most American take for granted all sorts of things that people in other countries cannot afford. Americans are materialistic and always want what other people have.

I'll appreciated any comment and help

thanks.

Well, no.
You don't have a main point.
The first sentence seems to say that the best things are already here, but Americans don't appreciate that.
Your second sentence, the one in bold, is incomprehensible.
Your third seems to link with the first, so if you kept just those two you might be okay and build an argument around that.
Your fourth is not related to the others. A failure to appreciate what you have doesn't mean you are materialistic. It also doesn't mean you want things that belong to other people.

Take your first and third and build something from there. Get some facts though - get statistics on how many people in the world have running water in their homes, compared to how many homes in the US have that. Compare poverty rates.

You might also have a better essay if you acknowledge the poverty that DOES exist in the US - the number of homeless in the cities, the people in Appalachia, etc. That will give you an essay of contrasts - typical American versus typical citizen of the world; well-off American versus poorest Americans.

Elniche · Answer

Thanks Geek I really appreciated your help. I will keep in mind your advice.[Y]

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