0
Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Business & Finance
My colleague wrote a nasty, overly formal letter
Hi, dear forum members,
Here is something for you to consider if you find time and curiosity to help me with that. My colleague wrote this letter to the members of the Credit Committee of the Bank. I suspect it doesn't sound right. Does it have any obvious mistakes in style, grammar or whatever? Please help:
Dear Members of the Credit Committee/Asset Quality Session,
Hereby I am sending for your kind consideration and approval draft Minutes of CC/AQS #** which were drafted based on the outcome of the meeting held on November 10 along with the relevant Attachment.
I am kindly asking for your review and approval/comments.
Thanking you in advance.
Here is something for you to consider if you find time and curiosity to help me with that. My colleague wrote this letter to the members of the Credit Committee of the Bank. I suspect it doesn't sound right. Does it have any obvious mistakes in style, grammar or whatever? Please help:
Dear Members of the Credit Committee/Asset Quality Session,
Hereby I am sending for your kind consideration and approval draft Minutes of CC/AQS #** which were drafted based on the outcome of the meeting held on November 10 along with the relevant Attachment.
I am kindly asking for your review and approval/comments.
Thanking you in advance.
Top answer
Yes, it sounds like the sender is angry about something, perhaps the way the previous minutes were received. Kind and kindly are somewhat archaic, but perhaps they are appropriate here - even twice in such a short piece.
- Yes, it sounds like the sender is angry about something, perhaps the way the previous minutes were received.
- Kind and kindly are somewhat archaic, but perhaps they are appropriate here - even twice in such a short piece.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
5 Answers
0
Yes, it sounds like the sender is angry about something, perhaps the way the previous minutes were received. Kind and kindly are somewhat archaic, but perhaps they are appropriate here - even twice in such a short piece.
00
Philip, thank you very much for your answer. That sounds angry with me, too. Another thing I noticed is the part Thanking you... Would it not be better to change the ING to something along the lines of Thank you in advance? Also, is it fine to the progressive here — or would it go well with the simple aspect?
Regards,
Chris
Regards,
Chris
00
I am kindly asking for your review and approval/comments.
I am asking for your kind review and approval/comments.
It's the review etc. that will be kind, not the asking.
I am asking for your kind review and approval/comments.
It's the review etc. that will be kind, not the asking.
00
AnonymousWould it not be better to change the ING to something along the lines of Thank you in advance?Read: I am thanking you in advance. This is a common in a sign-off.
00
I forgot to add that this letter doesn't seem nasty to me.
As for the formal tone, a lot of the writing we are asked to check here is written in what seems to be an overly formal style.
Is it different, compared to how people normally write to the Committee?
As for the formal tone, a lot of the writing we are asked to check here is written in what seems to be an overly formal style.
Is it different, compared to how people normally write to the Committee?
0
Related Questions