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Lady Sigh Posted 18 years ago
my 1st poem, correction please
this is my 1st poem and im feeling a little embarrassed *^-^* since there would be a lots of grammatical and expressions mistake.
hope that u could correct it for me and hope i could improve my poems
and thanks you
What my world would be,
If you weren't there for me.
A world full of lies,
Where no one hears but cries.
A world where no blue moon rise,
Just bitter questions of whys.
A world where no beauty stay,
And no roses live for a day.
A world where a devil could be a friend,
And a dying soul stops to fend.
A world where death knocks the door,
Because this pain can't be bore.
What my world would be,
If you weren't there for me.
A dark world that looks like a hell,
Where a fiend is ringing the torturous bell
do u have any advice for me? and thank u[F] .
hope that u could correct it for me and hope i could improve my poems
and thanks you
What my world would be,
If you weren't there for me.
A world full of lies,
Where no one hears but cries.
A world where no blue moon rise,
Just bitter questions of whys.
A world where no beauty stay,
And no roses live for a day.
A world where a devil could be a friend,
And a dying soul stops to fend.
A world where death knocks the door,
Because this pain can't be bore.
What my world would be,
If you weren't there for me.
A dark world that looks like a hell,
Where a fiend is ringing the torturous bell
do u have any advice for me? and thank u[F] .
Top answer
blue moon rises, and beauty is an uncountable noun so again -s , not a **** but THE ****
- blue moon rises, and beauty is an uncountable noun so again -s , not a **** but THE ****
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4 Answers
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Hi, grammatically...blue moon rises, and beauty is an uncountable noun so again -s , not a **** but THE ****
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Every one is crying, on Eidhi's sad demise,even who don't cry,if his father dies.......stop your heart weeping,try hold your tears,make a promise to help people,who are not your dears.
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Lady Sighcan i post more poems to correct in the future?Yes, of course!
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