'mums the word'

Question

I would have preferred and loved to do this course if at all everything was in my hand. But as days passed on I found my parents were compelling me more to do what they wished, and as we say ‘mums the word’ I left this matter to them.

above is it right to say compelling me more / compelled me more..

Please suggest if the above is right..

Oneandonly · Accepted Answer

Your first choice is the correct one: were compelling.

Avangi · Answer

dec09 But as days passed on I found my parents were compelling me more to do what they wished

dec09is it right to say compelling me more / compelled me more..

Both tenses are possible.

If your question is about the use of "compelled/compelling," it does seem a little awkward to me.

Personally, I think of "to compel" as a kind of absolute. Either you do or you don't. Others may disagree.

Do you mean to say that the degree, or intensity of the compulsion was escalating (compelled me harder),
or that the occasions on which they compelled you were becoming more frequent?

Even if we accept the word for this usage, it would be more natural to say
" . . . . compelled me more and more [frequently] to do as they wished."

Synonym · Answer

I would have preferred and loved to do this course if at all everything was in my hand. But as days passed on I found my parents compelled me more and more to do as they wished, and as we say ‘mums the word’ I left this matter to them.

Thanks Avangi so I guess the above sentence is now fully right grammatically. And how can I put this sentence if I want to use word as 'compel' ?

Synonym · Answer

I would have preferred and loved to do this course if at all everything was in my hand. But as days passed on I found my parents compelled me more and more to do as they wished, and as we say ‘mums the word’ I had to leave/left this matter to them.

Is the above right?

Avangi · Answer

dec09I would have preferred and loved to do this course if at all everything was in my hand. But as days passed on I found my parents compelled me more and more to do as they wished, and as we say ‘mums the word’ I had to leave/left this matter to them.

I stumble on "if at all everything was in my hand."

I'm not sure how you're intending to use "if at all."
It usually means something like, "if even remotely" - "if there's any chance."
I need you to help me with the yard work, if at all possible.

She worked very little on her homework, if at all. . (very little, or none)

It's unnatural to use this expression together with "everything." They're on opposite ends of the scale.

I believe you mean that almost nothing was in your hands. (Note the plural, by the way.)
Looking at it the other way, almost everything was out of your hands.

I would have preferred and loved to do this course, if I had had anything to say about it.
. . . . if I had had any control over the situation.
. . . . if it (the matter) had been in my hands to any extent.

"But as days passed by" is a little more natural than "passed on."

You need a full stop after "mum's the word." (period and capital letter following) (Note the appostrophe.)

My experience has been that "mum's the word" refers to keeping a secret,
but I guess it can work for keeping your mouth shut in general. ( Don't argue !)

I left this matter to them. / I had to leave this matter to them. (your choice)

dec09And how can I put this sentence if I want to use word as 'compel' ?

It could be simple present, or the infinitive. We're stuck with the latter, because your story is told in the past.

I found my parents wanted/tried more and more to compel me to do as they wished.

'mums the word'

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