Multiple semi-colons in a sentence

Question

0 Hi there, I have a conundrum that it'd be good to get some advice on. I'm editting the text for a poster. Space is quite tight and there's a lot of information to get across in as few as words as possible. As such some of the sentences have ended up being quite compact. This end of this one is causing particular trouble.02br02br01i00"…because your zoo has a life of its   own; being persistent and dynamic; changing and evolving; alive with animals and   visitors."02br02i02br00I realise its not ideal, but I think the three elements at the end should be seperated by semi-colons, just as if they they were a list of things which contained commas. A colleague thinks it should be02br02br01i00"...because you zoo has a life of its own, being persistent and dynamic, changing and evolving, alive with animals and visitors."02br02br02i00Any thoughts, corrections, or should the whole thing be reworded?02br00 0-

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

0I agree with your colleague. There is no reason to use the semi-colons because the elements in your list do NOT contain commas. 02br
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00(Other, unsolicitied comments: I would also delete "being" and replace the punctuate after "own" with a colon. And it would be great if you could come up with a substitute word for either "life" or "alive" so they are not quite so repetitive. And is "persistent" really the word you want? How about "sustaining" or something like that?)02br
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00P.S. Which zoo should I visit so I can see the results of your work? 0-

Grobelaar · Answer

0 Thanks very much for your help. Sadly I'm no grammar expert, but as I'm the one who trawled through 27 pages and found a list of mistakes 9 pages long, I'll undoubtedly be considered one in the office now.02br
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00Sadly it's a not a real zoo - just a virtual zoo - hence using the word 'persistent' instead of 'sustaining'.0-

BarbaraPA · Answer

0Ah well, Gorbelaar, it's how I got my name at my old workplace too. (And then I came here and realized I know a FRACTION of what the real grammar experts know!)02br
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00I hope you'll stick around in the forums and share what you've learned along the way.0-

Dawnstorm · Answer

0 01blockquote

01cite10Grammar Geek12cite10(Other, unsolicitied comments: I would also delete "being" and replace the punctuate after "own" with a colon. And it would be great if you could come up with a substitute word for either "life" or "alive" so they are not quite so repetitive. And is "persistent" really the word you want? How about "sustaining" or something like that?)12blockquote

10Ah, the blurry line between grammar and stylistics!02br
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00Question: If you exchange the semicolon with a comma before "being", and then delete "being", would most native speakers take this to refer to the "zoo" or the "life"? I've tried this version and then stopped at "alive with", realising that I'd read "a lif of its own, alive with..." (which stopped my flow, as I didn't quite like "life" to be modified with "alive with", although that's just taste).02br
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00I do agree that the original with "being" could be improved by rephrasing:02br
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00Attempts:02br
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00because your zoo has a life of its own; it's persistent... 02br
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00OR02br
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00because your zoo, persistent and dynamic, changing and evolving, alive with animals and visitors, has a life of its own. 02br
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00These may or may not work, depending on what comes before the "because".02br
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00Oh, and to be on topic as well, I see no reason for semi-colons either in this situation.0-

Multiple semi-colons in a sentence

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