Motivationletter for a BA, SOS

Good day everyone,

Im applying for a BA program and tried to write a creative and strong motivation letter during the last days. This forum helped a lot which u might notice.

All in all im quite happy with the results (got some small questions, see italic marked comments) but my major problem is that I have to submit it by tonight and have to shorten it by 50 words. (Im only allowed to write 650 and got 700)

Im really desperate, I dont know what to delete anymore!

I appreciate any help on what to delete or shorten...

Thanks a lot

** Motivation Letter **

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Bachelor of Arts in <name of program> at the <name of university> starting in September 2011.

In summer <year>, I received my high school diploma majoring in math and history with top grades, placing in the top decile of my class. Furthermore, I was selected to be the only student to receive the Medal of Honor of the <high school name> for extraordinary engagement. I was typically among the top students in my class, submitted a high school dissertation graded as the second-best work and received an honorary certificate for extraordinary engagement before.

I received a scholarship by the exchange organization <name> enabling me to study one year in <country>, there being honored as ‘Student of the Month’.

In addition, I participated in three school exchange programs. I am fortunate and glad of having had the chance to life abroad. Having been an exchange student for one year I understood what empathy and understanding for traditions, cultures, and convictions/believes (which one is better?)really is about. Through seminars and workshops at school, <organization> events, and the <organization> ‘<program’s name>’ in <city>, I received a closer insight into politics, cultural differences and clashes, integration and the understanding of democracy.

Moreover, I met people from all over the world with different backgrounds and cultures. I always find such an experience personally and professionally rewarding because, by comparing our perspectives of the world and outlooks for the future, I gain a mature variety of opinions enabling me to have a deeper appreciation and understanding of differences in cultures and traditions.

This is where I knew that I want to study <study program>.

Although my exchange year in <country> in <years>, the country preparing for the upcoming presidential elections, sparked interest in politics in me; I had been committed to/in (which on is right?) the sociopolitical area earlier. Participating in the first <name> Parliament and implemented the so called “<name>”; students work instead of going to school and donating the earned money to chosen projects, at my school. I additionally set value on encouraging students to know and benefit from their rights and duties by organizing and holding seminars and workshops.

To become acquainted with the UNO in a practical way, I took the great chance to be part of the xxMUN.

After graduation I completed an internship in Egypt to be introduced to the Islamic – Arabic culture. Those experiences were an excellent preparation for my studies and an important milestone in my young career.

Complementing my strong academic performance are my advanced skills in leadership and communication. At school I built and lead a group organizing a project day to involve the students in topics such as tolerance, participation in society along with politics. At the same time I was the class representative and two years the student body president.

In such positions I was responsible for distributing project assignments and responsibilities as well as governing interpersonal relationships. I learned to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. Furthermore, it helped to manage my time effectively and to thrive me upon challenging, fast-paced and chaotic environments.

I want to study at the University <name> because firstly, it is one of the few universities offering a BA in <program>, the study that I have long been pursuing.

Secondly, it offers a lingual education to choose, which appeals to me as I aim to improve my Spanish knowledge.

Thirdly, I enjoy staying abroad, especially with the <country’> hostility which I fell in love with during my student exchange.

Given my record, I am confident that, if given the opportunity, I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program of <name>. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,