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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing

Motivational letter - Undergraduate studies. Need second opinion fast!

Hi. I'm for the fall of 2011 applying for undergraduate studies in netherlands. I need to send my application within wendsday of next week because of travel. I would really appreciate a second look on my letter of motivation. Is there somthing I'm missing? English is my second language so please tell me if there are any gramtical or syntax errors. Thanks so much for any help!

The letter must be between 500 and 1000 words, it's now 700

Mountainhiker, I've read through sevral of your post and they have been of great help. Thank you.

Dear Sir or Madame:

I am a Norwegian citizen which graduated with a study specialization in science with an emphasis on Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Technology and Research from Oslo Cathedral School in the spring of 2010. With this letter of motivation I have included the required application forms to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology.

Understanding that TU Delft is a highly proclaimed university in the field of engineering and research and therefore have an ardent competition to be accepted as a student, I will in the following paragraphs account for why I should be chosen as a member of the student body

I am currently serving a year in the Royal Norwegian Air Force as a medic and second in command of my team. In choosing the air force I hoped to attain a greater insight of the world of aviation. By being stationed at a military airfield I have gained some basic knowledge of military aviation.

Traveling by plane from an early age introduced me to a fascinating new world of aeronautics, and by reading several technological magazines, both on aviation and recent developments in the astronautical industry, my fascination grew to a passion. A passion which is very much alive today. By applying to the bachelor degree in Aerospace Engineering I have the aspiration that I'll acquire the insight and specialization of a forthcoming industry which I truly have the passion of pursuing.

My foremost reasons for TU Delft being my university of choice is the internationally oriented and broad based bachelor programme. It is of great significance that both the student body as well as the university and faculty are internationally oriented. With TU Delft having a considerable international student base I hope to indulge in a cultural exchange and connect with students from around the world. From an academic viewpoint, I'm certain that the many institutions, companies and agencies in which TU delft is collaborating with, such as PEGASUS and the IDEA League, will give me a good foundation to later work in international surroundings. Such a broad based bachelor programme, with a great deal fundamental science, technical subjects as well as business economics and technical management, will do me adequate for understanding the process from an idea to a fully viable product.

In regards to my goals, there are two personal attributes in which I know will be of significance in process of achieving them. One being my need always to challenge myself and the second, the yearning to keep on learning. Especially in my passion for extreme sports such as freestyle skiing and parkour/freerunning, have I developed a mindset where I keep on challenging myself and always have a craving to learn more. This also applies in an academic setting. While serving in the Royal Norwegian Air Force, I have persisted on developing myself by attending evening classes. I have passed the exam for the college level subject “Law and military power” and I am now studying the subject “examen philosophicum” which is at university level. The latter being a mandatory course at Norwegian universities consisting of thorough examination of the history of philosophy and ethics.

I have the ambition to obtain my masters degree after graduating from the bachelor programme. It's too early to say which discipline I would want to specialize in, but I have a particular interest in the field of sustainable development and therefore consider aerodynamics and wind energy as a possible choice for the continuation of my studies. With such a broad based program I have no doubt I will find a field of study which will inspire me to acquire my masters degree.

I hope I get the opportunity of becoming a member of your student body and follow my passion, and becoming an Aerospace Engineering. To study in the Netherlands, meeting a diverse group of people and cultures is a desire of mine, one I truly wish to accomplish.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely, Arwin Khoshnewiszadeh
  

Top answer

Dear Sir or Madame: I would like to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology. I am a Norwegian citizen which who graduated with a study specialization in science with an emphasis on Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Technology and Research from Oslo Cathedral School in the spring of 2010. With this letter of motivation I have included the required application forms to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology.

  • Dear Sir or Madame: I would like to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology.
  • I am a Norwegian citizen which who graduated with a study specialization in science with an emphasis on Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Technology and Research from Oslo Cathedral School in the spring of 2010.
  • With this letter of motivation I have included the required application forms to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology.
  • Understanding that TU Delft is a highly proclaimed university in the field of engineering and research and therefore have an ardent competition to be accepted as a student, I will in the following paragraphs account for why I should be chosen as a member of the student body I am currently serving a year in the Royal Norwegian Air Force as a medic and second in command of my team.
  • In choosing the air force I hoped to attain a greater insight of the world of aviation.
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Dear Sir or Madame:

I would like to be considered as a prospective student for the bachelor degree in the field of Aerospace engineering at the Delft University of Technology. I am a Norwegian citizen which who graduated with a study specialization in science with an emphasis on Mathem

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