Motivational letter for a Research Master's Degree

Hello :  )

Could someone please have a quick look at my motivational letter for a Master's Degree ?
I think I marked my passion for the field of research quite well but I'm not sure about the language use as I'm not an native speaker
I only recently discovered that your wonderful forum exists so I'm quite near to the deadline, which actually is monday. But please don't feel pushed, If you don't find the time to look at it I have to arrange for someone else to give me advise.

Background: the research masters program is an highly specific program which focuses entirely on research (d'oh, as the name says ..) and is considered to be the "elite" program at my university. 
They as for an 'Application letter which covers the applicant's background and motivation for research training in the chosen specialisation (maximum 500 words)' 

for a more detailed background, here is the universities description: http://tiny.cc/jiUbg

This is my draft, and I based this on an example that I found online
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Dear Sirs and Madams:



I am writing to you to apply for the Research Master's Degree Program in Fundamental Neuroscience. 

I look forward to archive my Bachelor‘s degree in Psychology in September 2010 at the University of Maastricht. The focus of my degree is Biopsychology. I also took courses in Neuropsychology and Neuroanatomy  which provoked my strong interest in the interdisciplinary joint of Psychology, Medicine and computational science at which Neuroscience lies. 



Fundamental Neuroscience has especially caught my interest as I find it fascinating to investigate how an on a cellular micro level the brain generates something as complex as human behavior. Which chain of events leads to neuroplasticity? How can it be that such an complex state as stress is caused by slight biochemical changes within millions of cells ? What are the mechanisms underling, for example, depression ?

Also, the more technical side of how to research such questions does appeal to me, too. Throughout my study I found my self wondering how one arrives at the detailed descriptions of biological processes.



I have a passion for research and am especially interested in further developing my skills in empirical research.

In my second year at the University of Maastricht I was required to follow the „Onderzoeks Practicum“ course, in which I discovered my enthusiasm for developing scientific questions and planning an operationalization. More over, I have been a student tutor in my third year where I recognized that I enjoy tutoring nearly as much as learning so that a scientific-academic carrier sounds very promising to me.



Having spoken with students and tutors about the content and setting of this program, I am excited by my decision to pursue my Master’s degree. 



With a solid foundation in academic theory on Neuroscience and empirical research gained through this Master's Degree program in, I am confident that I will have the skills, knowledge, and contacts that will enable me to pursue a career at a research institution. 



Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response. 







Yours sincerely, 







Marianne ***