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Martina321 Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivational letter advices
Hii
Can you guys please help me to improve my motivational letter for an undergraduate event management degree in London?Thanks in advance.xx
Dear sir or madam,
I'm writing to apply for the Degree
In Event management,in which I am enormously interested.
I've always had a passion in organising and planning events.I'm a creative person,I like to think big and out of the box and try to get the best in pretty much everything,I'm very social, and I think that your Event management Undergraduate Programme will suit my personality completely.I enjoy to work in teamwork as much as I enjoy to work by my own and Attending your university I would like to gain some more communication and coordination skills.
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I've organised various events in school,such as proms and meetings with students from other schools,and I absolutely enjoyed doing these experiences;especially proms because they all had a theme so me and my colleagues had to make specific invitations,find the perfect decorations to put on the ballroom,choose the right music etc.Once Some of my companions and I had to organise an "under the sea" themed prom,and I'm not gonna lie it was pretty much of a challenge.The school budget was really low,so we didn't have enough money to buy all the things we needed,therefore we decided to create the invitations and decorations ourselves;That of course took a lot of our time but it was worth every second.at the prom we received a lot of compliments which made us feel very satisfied,it was the best feeling ever.
these kind of experiences made me understand that organising events was actually my dream job.
therefore out of planning events,fashion,music and sports are some of my other passions,that's why I would like to create the perfect combo,and become an event planner specialized in organising events such as fashion weeks,premieres,sport events,festivals etc; I would totally love to spend my life doing that.
The reason why I chose to apply in your uni is just because reading some of your alumni experiences I found out that your institution would have been just the perfect place To study at ,since a lot of alumni talked about their current jobs and they fitted exactly my career ambition.
I want to study at Your university also because of your outstanding educational system,your excellent facilities,And because is in London, which I think is the best place on earth to live; people there are so polite,nice and big minded,which I love,and London itself is just so beautiful and peaceful. I couldn't be more confident of my decision.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Martina *****
Can you guys please help me to improve my motivational letter for an undergraduate event management degree in London?Thanks in advance.xx
Dear sir or madam,
I'm writing to apply for the Degree
In Event management,in which I am enormously interested.
I've always had a passion in organising and planning events.I'm a creative person,I like to think big and out of the box and try to get the best in pretty much everything,I'm very social, and I think that your Event management Undergraduate Programme will suit my personality completely.I enjoy to work in teamwork as much as I enjoy to work by my own and Attending your university I would like to gain some more communication and coordination skills.
-
I've organised various events in school,such as proms and meetings with students from other schools,and I absolutely enjoyed doing these experiences;especially proms because they all had a theme so me and my colleagues had to make specific invitations,find the perfect decorations to put on the ballroom,choose the right music etc.Once Some of my companions and I had to organise an "under the sea" themed prom,and I'm not gonna lie it was pretty much of a challenge.The school budget was really low,so we didn't have enough money to buy all the things we needed,therefore we decided to create the invitations and decorations ourselves;That of course took a lot of our time but it was worth every second.at the prom we received a lot of compliments which made us feel very satisfied,it was the best feeling ever.
these kind of experiences made me understand that organising events was actually my dream job.
therefore out of planning events,fashion,music and sports are some of my other passions,that's why I would like to create the perfect combo,and become an event planner specialized in organising events such as fashion weeks,premieres,sport events,festivals etc; I would totally love to spend my life doing that.
The reason why I chose to apply in your uni is just because reading some of your alumni experiences I found out that your institution would have been just the perfect place To study at ,since a lot of alumni talked about their current jobs and they fitted exactly my career ambition.
I want to study at Your university also because of your outstanding educational system,your excellent facilities,And because is in London, which I think is the best place on earth to live; people there are so polite,nice and big minded,which I love,and London itself is just so beautiful and peaceful. I couldn't be more confident of my decision.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Martina *****
Top answer
Hi Martina, You may not have received any replies because you're asking for quite a lot of help. It's the kind of thing I do for students in paid sessions, because the student and I would then have time to consider all aspects of the letter. g.
- Hi Martina, You may not have received any replies because you're asking for quite a lot of help.
- It's the kind of thing I do for students in paid sessions, because the student and I would then have time to consider all aspects of the letter.
- g.
- it's, gonna) - this is definitely a formal document.
- There are some punctuation errors.
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7 Answers
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Hi Martina,
You may not have received any replies because you're asking for quite a lot of help. It's the kind of thing I do for students in paid sessions, because the student and I would then have time to consider all aspects of the letter.
To give you just a few pointers: you should avoid contractions (e.g. it's, gonna) - this is definitely a formal document. There are some p
You may not have received any replies because you're asking for quite a lot of help. It's the kind of thing I do for students in paid sessions, because the student and I would then have time to consider all aspects of the letter.
To give you just a few pointers: you should avoid contractions (e.g. it's, gonna) - this is definitely a formal document. There are some p
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Thank you very much!I'll surely follow your advice.
yours sincerely,
Martina
yours sincerely,
Martina
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Martina321In Event management,in which I am enormously interested.In Event management, in which I am enormously interested. You should leave a space between a comma and the next word.
Martina321I've always had a passion in organi
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Martina321HiiCan you guys please help me to improve my motivational letter for an undergraduate event management degree in London?Thanks in advance.xxHi has one letter i.
In the title of your question, the correct spelling is advice. Not "advices".
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Martina: I have highlighted some problem areas. Pay attention to your punctuation. A formal letter should not read like a chat-blog. Sentences should be logical and well-structured, not connected by a stream of commas. Your content is good, but needs to consider the serious side of event planning as well as the fun side.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm writing to apply for the
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm writing to apply for the
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Martina321organising
Martina321specializedAnother way for you to improve your writing generally, is to use spellings consistently.
In the quoted examples, you have used the "is" and "iz" spellings for sounds that rhyme with the word eyes. Although both are used in English, people normally just use one or th
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