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Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivation Letter;can you help me?
I am from Holland and I know...this letter is not very good.
What do you think of this letter?? Can you help me?
Thank you so much!! xxmaartje
Dear Madam / Sir,
If you are looking for a young and energetic person who is seeking new challenges and is willing to contribute to your company’s success, I would like to encourage you to consider my application.
First I will start with a short introduction of myself. My name is Maartje . I am a 21 year old student studying Bussiness Administration at the VU University of Amsterdam. I'm a very motivated student, my study results are above avarage. I have earned all my European Credits within the nominal time.
The first two years of the study Bussiness Administration is setup with a broad design. I'm now in my last months of my bachlor study and afther this I am going to do the Master Course; Marketing. This is where my ambition and qualities lie. In this study it is of great importance/value to work succesfull in a team and therefore to develop the necessary teamskills. Others think of me as a person with good communicative skills and intercourse. I have also good analytical skills and I am social very strong.
Within the bachelor-master system there is little time left to do an internship. However, I was very determined to find an internship. I have done a partime internship at *** effective communication.’ I have done this behind my normal study schedule and load. I have learn a lot in a short period and I have improved my skills. I can say that I have make a big step abroad in comparison with my fellow students.
I start as an trainnee, but afther this trainneeship, ‘ A Fact’ gives me a parttime contract. I'm now working as account executive.Because of my experiences at ‘ ***’ , I know that I really like the sector Marketing and I want to develop my skills in that direction. Thinking about new marketing strategies, working with clients and a very fast market and fast changing project are things that I really like at this sector.
In juli 2006 I expect to get my Bachelor graduation in Business Administration. But I don’t want to start immediately with my Master course Marketing. I have made the decision to orrientate myself behind my study to improve myself in other ways. My objective is to get some more experience and knowledge of the labourmarket and I would like to expand my development of skills furthermore and apply theory into practice. Also I would like to improve my English skills and I want to see more from the world.
For this reasons I’m looking for an intership / job at a company in London. I see London as an ideal city to go; a city of the world wth a very active businesscenter. Also for me very important; English is the motherlanguage of this country. My preference lie in the sector Marketing. Afther my internship ; job at ‘ A Fact’ I think that my hart lies here. I want to start in September 2006 and I want to stay for around 5 months. But I’m very flexibel and I am open for other suggestions.
Please have a look at my resume which provides further personal details. I'm looking for getting feedback from you. If you had any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Yours faithfully,
Maartje
What do you think of this letter?? Can you help me?
Thank you so much!! xxmaartje
Dear Madam / Sir,
If you are looking for a young and energetic person who is seeking new challenges and is willing to contribute to your company’s success, I would like to encourage you to consider my application.
First I will start with a short introduction of myself. My name is Maartje . I am a 21 year old student studying Bussiness Administration at the VU University of Amsterdam. I'm a very motivated student, my study results are above avarage. I have earned all my European Credits within the nominal time.
The first two years of the study Bussiness Administration is setup with a broad design. I'm now in my last months of my bachlor study and afther this I am going to do the Master Course; Marketing. This is where my ambition and qualities lie. In this study it is of great importance/value to work succesfull in a team and therefore to develop the necessary teamskills. Others think of me as a person with good communicative skills and intercourse. I have also good analytical skills and I am social very strong.
Within the bachelor-master system there is little time left to do an internship. However, I was very determined to find an internship. I have done a partime internship at *** effective communication.’ I have done this behind my normal study schedule and load. I have learn a lot in a short period and I have improved my skills. I can say that I have make a big step abroad in comparison with my fellow students.
I start as an trainnee, but afther this trainneeship, ‘ A Fact’ gives me a parttime contract. I'm now working as account executive.Because of my experiences at ‘ ***’ , I know that I really like the sector Marketing and I want to develop my skills in that direction. Thinking about new marketing strategies, working with clients and a very fast market and fast changing project are things that I really like at this sector.
In juli 2006 I expect to get my Bachelor graduation in Business Administration. But I don’t want to start immediately with my Master course Marketing. I have made the decision to orrientate myself behind my study to improve myself in other ways. My objective is to get some more experience and knowledge of the labourmarket and I would like to expand my development of skills furthermore and apply theory into practice. Also I would like to improve my English skills and I want to see more from the world.
For this reasons I’m looking for an intership / job at a company in London. I see London as an ideal city to go; a city of the world wth a very active businesscenter. Also for me very important; English is the motherlanguage of this country. My preference lie in the sector Marketing. Afther my internship ; job at ‘ A Fact’ I think that my hart lies here. I want to start in September 2006 and I want to stay for around 5 months. But I’m very flexibel and I am open for other suggestions.
Please have a look at my resume which provides further personal details. I'm looking for getting feedback from you. If you had any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Yours faithfully,
Maartje
Top answer
Hi go through it and check all your spellings first and then we'll take a look at it. Your English is pretty good but you clearly haven't bothered to read through and check it yourself yet. Especially poor that you cannot be bothered to spell the word 'business' correctly more than once.
- Hi go through it and check all your spellings first and then we'll take a look at it.
- Your English is pretty good but you clearly haven't bothered to read through and check it yourself yet.
- Especially poor that you cannot be bothered to spell the word 'business' correctly more than once.
- I know I sound a bit harsh here but a sloppy attitude is not a good one for any employee.
- From your use of English you are clearly virtually fluent, so these are not beginner's errors.
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1 Answers
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Hi go through it and check all your spellings first and then we'll take a look at it. Your English is pretty good but you clearly haven't bothered to read through and check it yourself yet. Especially poor that you cannot be bothered to spell the word 'business' correctly more than once.
I know I sound a bit harsh here but a sloppy attitude is not a good one for any employee. From your u
I know I sound a bit harsh here but a sloppy attitude is not a good one for any employee. From your u
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