Motivation Letter, would like some opinions

Question

This is a letter of intent that I'm submitting along with my application to a college, for a career program. Thanks for your help!

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Welcome ksengage,

Your letter is reasonably well done.

"I have visited a hospital-based department of respiratory care therapy, as well as a respiratory class in a college, and they are environments I would definitely enjoy studying and working in. "

I don't think you want to study an environment?

I have visited a hospital-based department of respiratory care therapy as well as attended a respiratory class in a college. I am confident that I would enjoying working as a respiratory technologist.

How's that sound?

"My previous education consists of completing high school in the youth sector. I then went on to Adult Education to do Chemistry (CHE 5041, 5042, 5043) and Math 436. I chose to take these science courses because I wanted to pursue a career in health care. "

Rather than providing course numbers, which mean nothing to most of us, tell us what you learned or studied. I then studied four advanced courses in chemistry, two of which were organic chemistry and blah blah blah. I also took an advanced math course in calculus.

"Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you. "

Compound sentence.

Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to receiving your acceptance.

MountainHiker

Motivation Letter, would like some opinions

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