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MariaBErlin Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing

Motivation letter--urgent correction

0hello,02br
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00I want to make a trip to Iceland, but I have to write a letter of motivation before. I just finished school last summer, but I think I´ve forgot a lot of English since then. so please help and correct my letter. It´s just so important.02br
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00thanks a lot02br
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00Maria02br
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01i00_________________________________________________________________________________02i02br
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01b01u00Letter of motivation02u02b02br
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00On the seminar to 010200 in March/ April 2007 would I, Maria Slaby, like to take part. With enthusiasm I have read which opportunities this journey arises.02br
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00In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a forest school, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.02br
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00My curiosity on further provocations is still not limited. 00 represents for me an additional level of discovery, which offers an inimitable flora and fauna. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason 00 presents non-recurring possibilities to broaden my knowledge. Above all the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting for me. To broaden my mind in this process is one of my essential motives. By this journey it motivates me to place a basement for my speedy studies and collect own experiences.02br
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00As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people, because one gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist.02br
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00Especially the adapted ecological way of living in the village gives me a break to gain concrete knowledge and use this practical, too. On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. This gives me the possibility to put individual responsibility and initiative into action.02br
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00Simultaneously00 I would like to utilize and improve my knowledge and experience abroad.02br
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00The work with disabled people is not unknown to me, because my mum works as a 00carer for persons with special educational needs00.00 By active witnessing I want to take a thought-provoking impulse for alternatives for our way of living back to 010200. Therefore the international cooperation, which is made possible in 00, is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. In exchange I want to make an allowance for that important aim.02br
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00In addition, the opportunity to improve my language ability or rather to learn a bit 02br
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00Icelandic tempts me. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.02br
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00I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in 00. 02br
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00All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.02br
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00Thinking over my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place in the seminar in 00.02br
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00Sincerely yours0-
  

Top answer

00 00I have read with enthusiasm about opportunities this trip offers. ]02br 02br 00In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a forest school, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature. 00 0102 00 represents for me an additional level of discovery, with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world.

  • 00 00I have read with enthusiasm about opportunities this trip offers.
  • ]02br 02br 00In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a forest school, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.
  • 00 0102 00 represents for me an additional level of discovery, with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world.
  • I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason 0102 00 presents a unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge.
  • The particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting to me.
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8 Answers
0
0My suggestions below:02br
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00I would like to take part in the seminar [is this the right word?00 00Do you mean, field trip or study opportunity?] in 010200 in March/ April 2007.00 00I have read with enthusiasm about opportunities this trip offers. [Did you read about it in the prospectus, or the course details, or did you
0
0 I´ve read it again and correct a few things you just said. thanks a lto for that....is it ok now?02br
01i00______________________________________________________________________________________02i02br
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01b01u00Letter of motivation02u02b02br
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0
0 hi,02br
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00can Ijust have one more answerabout the correction of my letter of motivation? because tomorrow I want to send it away, but before I just wnat to hear another statement about.02br
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00Thanks,02br
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00Maria0-
0
0It doesn't look like you've changed anything? Lil RR gave you some good advice.02br
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00Make sure you at least change your intro as suggested as your syntax is all wrong.02br
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00On the study opportunity in Iceland in March/ April 2007 would I, Maria Slaby, like to take part. 02br
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00I, Maria Slaby, would like to take part in
0
0 thank you both for checking my letter. this is now the last version (which I would send tomowrrow)02br
00Could you just have a last look, if everything is ok now?02br
00thanks a lot. have a nice day....02br
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00Maria02br
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01i00___________________________________________________________________________________________
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0 hello,02br
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00i`ve just changes the last things, and that version is the one I would like to send in tomorrow.02br
00Can you just have a last look, if everything is ok now?02br
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00Thanks a lot,02br
00have a nice day02br
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00maria02br
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01i00______________________________
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0Hi Maria – it’s looking pretty good.00 00Just a couple of things to look at one final time:02br
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00I, Maria Slaby, would like to take part in the seminar in 010200 in March/ April 2007. I have read with enthusiasm about the opportunities this trip offers.02br
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00In the last five month of my 00ecological
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0 thanks so much...I hope all this hard work will do it....02br
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00have a really nice weekend then02br
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00MariaBerlin0-

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