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Lilliot Posted 16 years ago
Letter Writing

Motivation letter to the enbassy

Hi, i've written a motivation letter to the embassy but i'm afraid i made some mistakes there. Can you please help me with that? Thanks a lot in advance.

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Goldenberg Olga. I am an English teacher at a Secondary School in Moscow, Russia. During my vacation I would like to improve my English level. It is very important for me because I have been teaching 11-13years old learners for just one year. And now I clearly understand that I have not got enough knowledge to do that further. I started learning English when I was eight years old at school. And now I am still learning (watching BBC films, reading books even watching soap operas). I am 23.
I graduated last year from the D. Mendeleev University of Chemical Technology of Russia as a chemist, but also I have a second diploma of The Moscow City Teachers’ Training University as an English teacher. I was interested in English language a lot that is why I was simultaneously getting the second university degree. Now I am working as a teacher not as a chemist because I like children and I enjoy contacting with them a lot. Last summer I joined a Teacher-Training Course at Languagelink (Intensive Refresher Course in TEFL Methodology) and that was the best language course I have ever attended. I have been to many countries but I have never spoken to English native speaker, and then I had a chance to do it.
So I would like to study in England for the sake of having native speakers as teachers and also having an opportunity of listening and talking modern British English in the streets, shops, museums and cafes.
I would also appreciate the chance of getting acquainted with the country’s cultural heritage traditions and history because I have always been interested in it (but now I understand that it was not enough). And I look forward to getting these new knowledge and experience and I really hope they would help me to become a better teacher than I am now.
Mu trip will be sponsored by myself (my parents will help me in case I need it). My employer, family and fiancé approve and support my aspiration of moving forward.
I am convinced that the education I will receive will provide me with the necessary background I need to become a good teacher.

Yours Sincerely.
  

Top answer

If you are not addressing this letter to a particular person, then sign off: Yours faithfully Olga G....... You present us with a problem. You are requesting admission for the purposes of improving your English.

  • If you are not addressing this letter to a particular person, then sign off: Yours faithfully Olga G.......
  • You present us with a problem.
  • You are requesting admission for the purposes of improving your English.
  • Yet, if we help, you will sound like a native speaker, and so not really in need of as much help as someone who could benefit more from a period immersed in the language and culture.
  • I think, therefore, we would do you a disservice if we correct your writing.
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2 Answers
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If you are not addressing this letter to a particular person, then sign off:

Yours faithfully

Olga G.......

You present us with a problem. You are requesting admission for the purposes of improving your English. Yet, if we help, you will sound like a native speaker, and so not really in need of as much help as someone who could benefit more from a period immersed in the
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Thanks a lot, I've already found a typo))
my friend did a little correction of my letter, he lives in the USA now

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