Motivation letter to a volonteer program

Question

Dear community I will be very thankful if someone cheked my motivation letter - grammar, structure and subject. I want too much to go to that program, so don't be indifferent - help me if you can)))

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply to volunteer program *** in Jerusalem. My name is Olena Khomyk, I am 21 and I live in Kiev in Ukraine.

I am student of the Kievan Polytechnic Institute, where I am studying journalism and editing. I have worked as a journalist since I was 14. Now I work at a big nation-wide internet portal. People say I am really good at making stories and in seeking material for them. I can work with specific computer programs such as Adobe Indesing and Photoshop. I am attentive to details and I can quickly process and store large volumes of information.

I have some experience in organization of sightseeing tours. When I was at school I organized city tours for exchange students. It was a great pleasure for me to do that, not only because I was always interested in history (I even enrolled at the Faculty of History, but then chose journalism), but also because I had a possibility to tell about native history and culture.

Now I want to find more about cradle of civilization - such old and such modern Jerusalem. To meet new people, to make new friends - that's the things all young people is dreaming about. This project can give me huge opportunities not only for my further career, but also will help me to test myself for the strength of mind and my level of flexability.

I have a wide sphere of interests - history, music, literature, international cooperation, sport ect. I am easygoing, independent and hard-working. I am not afraid of physical work (I always help my parents with gardening). I can work both individual or in team. And I like to help people, it makes me feel better.

If you choose me for this project you'll get a creative, open-minded and communicative volunteer with a good organizing skills and great desire to work at the one of the most interesting cities in the world.

I am eager to new challenges and ways to improve myself. I am ready to learn and I would be very grateful if you would give me a chance to contribute to this project.

I thank you for your time spent reading this letter and I hope for a positive response.
If you have any questions, please contact me via e-mail.

Looking forward for your reply
Yours sincerely

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

I sense your enthusiasm. I will make some quick comments, and then I will provide more general comments.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply to volunteer program *** in Jerusalem. My name is Olena Khomyk, I am 21 and I live in Kiev in Ukraine.

No need to state your name. You will sign your name.

I am student of the Kievan Polytechnic Institute, where I am studying journalism and editing. I have worked as a journalist since I was 14. Now I work at a big nation-wide internet portal. People say I am really good at making stories and in seeking material for them. I can work with specific computer programs such as Adobe Indesing and Photoshop. I am attentive to details and I can quickly process and store large volumes of information.

Provide more information on your "student" paragraph. Are you a good student. If so, tell me. Adobe Indesing? Do you mean InDesign? You need to be careful of small details, especially if you say you are attentive to details.

I have some experience in organization of sightseeing tours. When I was at school I organized city tours for exchange students. It was a great pleasure for me to do that, not only because I was always interested in history (I even enrolled at the Faculty of History, but then chose journalism), but also because I had a possibility to tell about native history and culture.

Tell me about the skills you acquired when organizing sightseeing tours. What did you learn? The key point in this whole letter is to describe yourself. What can you do?

Now I want to find more about cradle of civilization - such old and such modern Jerusalem. To meet new people, to make new friends - that's the things all young people is dreaming about. This project can give me huge opportunities not only for my further career, but also will help me to test myself for the strength of mind and my level of flexability.

Perhaps say you are passionate. And then go on to describe this paragraph?

I have a wide sphere of interests - history, music, literature, international cooperation, sport ect. I am easygoing, independent and hard-working. I am not afraid of physical work (I always help my parents with gardening). I can work both individual or in team. And I like to help people, it makes me feel better.

Never use "etc" (watch the spelling). Etc., is shorthand for "I don't know any more. I have exhausted my knowledge." Also, stay away from stuff in brackets. Either it is important or it is not, in which case you should delete it.

If you choose me for this project you'll get a creative, open-minded and communicative volunteer with a good organizing skills and great desire to work at the one of the most interesting cities in the world.

If you say you are "creative, open-minded and communicative", then show me. Everything you state must be supported by some facts.

I am eager to new challenges and ways to improve myself. I am ready to learn and I would be very grateful if you would give me a chance to contribute to this project.

I thank you for your time spent reading this letter and I hope for a positive response.
If you have any questions, please contact me via e-mail.

Looking forward for your reply
Yours sincerely

Okay, here comes my standard response:

Please ensure that you have spaces between your paragraphs. Otherwise it is too hard to read. My guess is that you pasted your letter into the text box. After you pasted your letter, the spaces were removed. To solve this issue, please do the following:

1) When you begin a new post, type "blah" into an open text box.

2) Then paste your letter.

3) Go back and delete "blah."

Here are some posts you should review. These posts will give you some ideas on the structure of your letter.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Hello Olena;
You have a lot to offer this volunteer program. I am sure you will enjoy it. I have made some suggestions on your letter. But, it really needs to have more organization. In theparagraphs you intermix your schooling, experience, personal characteristics, and interest in the program. Make each paragraph have one main point. Then it will be easier to read.

Regards,
A-

s

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply to your volunteer program, (name of the program), in Jerusalem. My name is Olena Khomyk, I am 21 and I live in Kiev in The Ukraine.
I am a student of the Kievan Polytechnic Institute, where I am studying journalism and editing. I have worked as a journalist since I was 14. (Did you have a paying job at age 14?) Now I work at a big national ~~nation-wide~~ internet portal (you don't work at the portal, but a company that maintains a portal. Also, portals do not have a geographical extent; if it is on the Internet, it is just part of the cloud.) . People say I am really good at making stories and in seeking (finding?) material for them. I can work with specific computer programs such as Adobe Indesing (Be sure you spell things correctly, including capital letters) and Photoshop. I am attentive to details and I can quickly process and store(?) large volumes of information.
I have some experience in organizing ~~organization of~~ sightseeing tours. When I was at school, I organized city tours for exchange students. It was a great pleasure for me to do that, not only because I was always interested in history (I even enrolled at the Faculty of History, but then chose journalism), but also because I had a possibility to tell others about Ukrainian ~~native~~ history and culture.

Now I want to find more about the cradle of civilization - such old and such modern Jerusalem. (Please rephrase the underlined. I'm not sure what you mean) To meet new people, to make new friends - ~~that's~~ those are the things all young people dream ~~is dreamin~~g about. This project can give me huge opportunities not only for my furthering my career, but also ~~will help me to~~ testing myself for ~~the~~ strength of mind and ~~my level of~~ flexability.

I have a wide sphere of interests - history, music, literature, international cooperation, sports ect. I am easygoing, independent and hard-working. I am not afraid of physical work (I always help my parents with gardening). I can work both individually or in a team. And I like to help people, it makes me feel better.

If you choose me for this project you'll get a creative, open-minded and communicative volunteer with a good organizing skills and great desire to work at the one of the most interesting cities in the world. I am eager to face new challenges and explore ways to improve myself. I am ready to learn and I would be very grateful if you would give me a chance to contribute to this project.

I thank you for your time spent reading this letter and I hope for a positive response. If you have any questions, please contact me via e-mail.
Looking forward for your reply.
Yours sincerely

MountainHiker · Answer

Olena, you will find that AlpheccaStars and I emphasize different aspects of your letter. The good news is that our advice is complementary. In other words, you are getting two helpers, not just one. Utilize the advice given by each of us.

My main thrust at this early stage of your letter is to get your letter properly organized and structured. AlpheccaStars says this too. As you begin organizing your letter, you should pay attention to the details as well.

Motivation letter to a volonteer program

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