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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Motivation letter sentence

Hi!
I'm stuck in the following sentence:
My career ambition is to become a doctor researching computer simulations of physical and physiological systems in biomedical research.
Does it sound weird
Any help is appreciated.
thx
andy
  

Top answer

Anonymous Does it sound weird Very weird. Perhaps something like this: My career ambition lies in advanced biomedical research. I would like to design highly-precise computer simulations of physical and physiological systems (in order to better predict outcomes of various treatment options.

— AlpheccaStars

  • Anonymous Does it sound weird Very weird.
  • Perhaps something like this: My career ambition lies in advanced biomedical research.
  • I would like to design highly-precise computer simulations of physical and physiological systems (in order to better predict outcomes of various treatment options.
  • )
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2 Answers
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AnonymousDoes it sound weird
Very weird.

Perhaps something like this:

My career ambition lies in advanced biomedical research. I would like to design highly-precise computer simulations of physical and physiological systems (in order to better predict outcomes of various treatment options. )
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AnonymousDoes it sound weird?
Not really. Just long. I think the following might be enough for one sentence.

My career goal is to do biomedical research specializing in computer simulations of physiological systems.

CJ
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