0
Jerry314 Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivation letter review (Master's degree)
Good morning,
First of all, thank you very much for your help, I found this forum a few days ago and I've been reading through it since then. I am applying for a master's degree and here is my first attempt of motivation letter. I took a lot of clues and hints from any other letters you posted here. Look forward to your revision, thank you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxxxxxxxxx programme at xxxxxxx University, scheduled to start in September 2011. I appreciate this opportunity and I would like to provide further information in support of my admission procedure.
I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Science from the University of xxxxxx (Spain) in 2009. I got very good marks in several important and relevant subjects such as Environmental Impact Assessment, Environment and Urban Planning, Ecology and Geographic Information Systems amongst many others. I also have a good knowledge of Mathematics, Physics and Statistics since it was essential during my studies. Due to the wide range of different disciplines that Environmental Science involves, soon after starting my studies I realized that the environmental management was the specialty where I really wanted to focus on.
After graduating, I was selected to do an internship for an environmental consultancy in xxxxxxxx (England) for a period of six months, granted by the “Leonardo da Vinci” project. This experience allowed me with the possibility to gain a valuable, international and practical knowledge in the consultancy and environmental advice, areas which I would like to develop my future career in.
I sharpened my critical thinking and took responsibility for several environmental projects. My internship also gave me the opportunity to live abroad and meet people from different countries around the world.
Soon after finishing my work experience, I started working as a volunteer in the xxxxxxxx for three months. I learned a lot from the volunteers and Volunteering Officer I worked with and gained a lot of experience in the organization work, team working and communication skills. This experience also attests of my capacity of integration and adaptation which I think is essential when studying in a worldwide recognized institution like xxxxxxxx University, with different ideologies and cultural backgrounds offered by its students. Undoubtedly, this creates a great source of international knowledge and global vision which is a great benefit in order to be able to face a wide variety of environmental issues.
As my aim is to work in an environmental consultancy, since I came back to Spain I kept pursuing further academic education in environmental management and took additional courses focusing on “Environmental Management Systems” and “Environmental Impact Assessment”. However, I consider that studying the MSc xxxxxxxxxxxx is the best way to gain deeper theoretical and practical knowledge and achieve the career goals I have set for myself, taking a step forward for my professional development in this particular field.
The high reputation of xxxxxxxx University in the environmental sciences, the courses this programme combines and the internship programme would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need to succeed as a urban environmental management advisor in the future.
I am aware of the highly competitive demands of this master’s program, but I am confident that I have the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and I will do my best to excel within the MSc xxxxxxxxx programme. I would like to mention that I also have the support from two recognized lecturers of the University of xxxxxx who assure I am trained to undertake the MSc xxxxxxxx programme. I am sure that my international background, deep concern in environmental management and willingness to make a progress, combined with practical knowledge make me a very good candidate and will add diversity to this master’s degree programme.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
xxxxxxxxx
First of all, thank you very much for your help, I found this forum a few days ago and I've been reading through it since then. I am applying for a master's degree and here is my first attempt of motivation letter. I took a lot of clues and hints from any other letters you posted here. Look forward to your revision, thank you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxxxxxxxxx programme at xxxxxxx University, scheduled to start in September 2011. I appreciate this opportunity and I would like to provide further information in support of my admission procedure.
I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Science from the University of xxxxxx (Spain) in 2009. I got very good marks in several important and relevant subjects such as Environmental Impact Assessment, Environment and Urban Planning, Ecology and Geographic Information Systems amongst many others. I also have a good knowledge of Mathematics, Physics and Statistics since it was essential during my studies. Due to the wide range of different disciplines that Environmental Science involves, soon after starting my studies I realized that the environmental management was the specialty where I really wanted to focus on.
After graduating, I was selected to do an internship for an environmental consultancy in xxxxxxxx (England) for a period of six months, granted by the “Leonardo da Vinci” project. This experience allowed me with the possibility to gain a valuable, international and practical knowledge in the consultancy and environmental advice, areas which I would like to develop my future career in.
I sharpened my critical thinking and took responsibility for several environmental projects. My internship also gave me the opportunity to live abroad and meet people from different countries around the world.
Soon after finishing my work experience, I started working as a volunteer in the xxxxxxxx for three months. I learned a lot from the volunteers and Volunteering Officer I worked with and gained a lot of experience in the organization work, team working and communication skills. This experience also attests of my capacity of integration and adaptation which I think is essential when studying in a worldwide recognized institution like xxxxxxxx University, with different ideologies and cultural backgrounds offered by its students. Undoubtedly, this creates a great source of international knowledge and global vision which is a great benefit in order to be able to face a wide variety of environmental issues.
As my aim is to work in an environmental consultancy, since I came back to Spain I kept pursuing further academic education in environmental management and took additional courses focusing on “Environmental Management Systems” and “Environmental Impact Assessment”. However, I consider that studying the MSc xxxxxxxxxxxx is the best way to gain deeper theoretical and practical knowledge and achieve the career goals I have set for myself, taking a step forward for my professional development in this particular field.
The high reputation of xxxxxxxx University in the environmental sciences, the courses this programme combines and the internship programme would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need to succeed as a urban environmental management advisor in the future.
I am aware of the highly competitive demands of this master’s program, but I am confident that I have the ability, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and I will do my best to excel within the MSc xxxxxxxxx programme. I would like to mention that I also have the support from two recognized lecturers of the University of xxxxxx who assure I am trained to undertake the MSc xxxxxxxx programme. I am sure that my international background, deep concern in environmental management and willingness to make a progress, combined with practical knowledge make me a very good candidate and will add diversity to this master’s degree programme.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
xxxxxxxxx
Top answer
Hi Jerry314. Welcome to the forums! Here is some feedback.
- Hi Jerry314.
- Welcome to the forums!
- Here is some feedback.
- I most often advise people who write these letters to be as direct and specific as possible.
- General statements don't distinguish you from other candidates who will make those same general statements.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
21 Answers
0
Hi Jerry314.
Welcome to the forums! Here is some feedback.
I most often advise people who write these letters to be as direct and specific as possible. General statements don't distinguish you from other candidates who will make those same general statements.
If you make a statement about yourself, back it up with proof or evidence that makes it irrefutable.
Dear Si
Welcome to the forums! Here is some feedback.
I most often advise people who write these letters to be as direct and specific as possible. General statements don't distinguish you from other candidates who will make those same general statements.
If you make a statement about yourself, back it up with proof or evidence that makes it irrefutable.
Dear Si
00
Adding to the previous comments you've received, avoid vague stuff. Vague stuff is toxic.
I got very good marks in several important and relevant subjects such as Environmental Impact Assessment, Environment and Urban Planning, Ecology and Geographic Information Systems amongst many others.
If I go to the dictionary and look up "very good marks," I find that it doe
I got very good marks in several important and relevant subjects such as Environmental Impact Assessment, Environment and Urban Planning, Ecology and Geographic Information Systems amongst many others.
If I go to the dictionary and look up "very good marks," I find that it doe
00
Thank you very much for your prompt responses! They were really useful and I made another attempt, I hope this one is better but, please, feel free to make any comment to improve it.
-------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxxx at xxxxxxx University, scheduled to start in S
-------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxxx at xxxxxxx University, scheduled to start in S
00
I will let AlpheccaStars comment on the rest of your letter. I will just bash away on one sentence that I commented on previously.
I got 2nd class honours in several important and relevant subjects such as environmental impact assessment, environment and urban planning, ecology and geographic informat
I got 2nd class honours in several important and relevant subjects such as environmental impact assessment, environment and urban planning, ecology and geographic informat
00
Thank you very much MountainHiker, I am taking all your advices into account. I will wait for the AlpheccaStars' comments too. I know my motivation letter is not brilliant but maybe it is because I don't have much to offer...
Thank you very much anyway
Thank you very much anyway
00
You've got lots to offer. So no worries there.
I don't want to get too involved in your letter because I don't want to step on AlpheccaStars' toes. Often when one person puts in signficant effort to helping a student, he or she is trying to shape the letter in a specific direction. If I come along throwing my advice around, I am likely to derail her efforts. In the end, it just becomes
I don't want to get too involved in your letter because I don't want to step on AlpheccaStars' toes. Often when one person puts in signficant effort to helping a student, he or she is trying to shape the letter in a specific direction. If I come along throwing my advice around, I am likely to derail her efforts. In the end, it just becomes
00
MountainHiker, you are simply great. I appreciate your hints and examples, very constructive!
I understand your position about reviewing my motivation letter, thanks a lot anyway. Well I think the letter is getting better, little by little. Now I see why you mentioned that lots of revisions were necessary
I understand your position about reviewing my motivation letter, thanks a lot anyway. Well I think the letter is getting better, little by little. Now I see why you mentioned that lots of revisions were necessary
00
After my work experiece, I worked as a volunteer for three months at in the Hampshire & Isle of White Wildlife Trust. While working alongside volunteers and a Volunteering Officer, I conducted insect surveys, removed plants and cleaned streams. These activities help to secure the future of many precious habitats and species. Now, you just need a short concluding sentence.
00
Thank you very much again, MountainHiker.
I spent a few hours reading my motivation letter and made several changes. I feel is getting better but maybe not as perfect as it would be. I would like to mention another thing, one of the requirements to get admission is a grade point average of 7 (in the academic transcript). I've got 6'7 but as you could read I also have second class honour
I spent a few hours reading my motivation letter and made several changes. I feel is getting better but maybe not as perfect as it would be. I would like to mention another thing, one of the requirements to get admission is a grade point average of 7 (in the academic transcript). I've got 6'7 but as you could read I also have second class honour
00
MountainHiker and I often tag-team. We try to improve and fine-tune motivation letters. You will see us repeat, repeat and repeat the mantra - BE SPECIFIC, BE UNIQUE, BE YOURSELF. Revise, revise, and revise some more.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxx at xxxxx University, scheduled to start in September 2011.I appreciat
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the MSc xxxxx at xxxxx University, scheduled to start in September 2011.
0
Related Questions