Motivation letter--need help editing please

Norwich University
March 3, 2013

Dear Sir or Madam;

I am applying to your Master of Arts in Diplomacy program with specialization in International Conflict Management starting June 2013. My career ambition is to work for international humanitarian organizations, such as UNICEF, to promote the equal rights of children and release them from economic, social and physical poverty.

Growing up in the Philippines, I have seen first hand the suffering of impoverished and abused women and children. I have worked as a volunteer in several orphanages and shelters since age 11, and as a volunteer teacher for Kids' Place Student Center, a project under Compassion International, where I also served as a member of the Management Board. Together with the staff, I organized activities and programs to better nurture the children's holistic development, through Music, Drama, Arts and Livelihood and Sports programs. Today, their training and education through Kid's Place's programs have opened for them opportunities for further education with scholarships at some of the country's most prestigious universities.

My work with Kids' Place allowed me to immerse myself in the reality of extreme poverty in all aspects, economic, physical, mental, social, emotional. Bearing witness to their afflictions has driven me to pursue this careerpath, which is in strong confluence with my passion for international political cooperativism and academic interests.

Since the beginning of my volunteerism, I have seen myself collaborating with the international global community in addressing the circumstances and forces affecting the well-being of children around the world. I have been fortunate to have been exposed to exciting opportunities as a youth ambassador to Japan through the Philippine and Japan Friendship Association, where I served as the country's representative to network with youths, not only in Japan, but in other countries as well. My interaction with people belonging to diverse cultural backgrounds has certainly fortified my interpersonal skills. My uttermost interest in culture exchange cements my desire to be a player in the international arena to further my cause to alleviate the sufferings of children around the world.

I learned early on that hardwork and sacrifice are essential ingredients in order to make a difference. And as a result, I have never shied away from challenges to better myself. In high school and college, I juggled schoolwork along with my part-time and volunteer jobs. At the same time, I was also the leader in my organizations, Class President, Editor-in-Chief of the Pilgrim Log and Worthy Advisor of the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls, Anthurium Assembly. Discipline, excellent time management, and good leadership have allowed me to fulfill my responsibilities with rewards in the end. I graduated Valedictorian in high school with awards in Leadership and Journalism and a With Honors award in college. I believe these awards and experiences are important milestones in my blossoming career.

Presently, I am in Germany with my husband where I am disqualified from employment in a U.S. Army installation because of my citizenship. However, I, nevertheless, am continuing my academic career with the study of the German language and my continuous volunteerism in our Army community.

I want to study at Norwich University because it offers an excellent curriculum that fosters greatly to my current situation. The courses offered at Norwich University would offer me the theoretical background to pursue my interests. One of the strongest features of Norwich's Master of Arts in Diplomacy Program that really appeals to me is the focus it gives on one course at a time. It will allow me to utilize my academic abilities along with my passion in the field. Moreover, the specialized education in the last leg of the program strongly resonates the field I wish to be in, thus, a concrete step towards my future career. I know, with Norwich, I will gain expert knowledge at the forefront of global affairs and consequently help me to become an advocate of change.

Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and ethusiasm to your program. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitions, and my knowledge and experiences in a developing nation. Furthermore, my international background will add more diversity to your program. A Master's degree with your institution will be the most rational expansion of my academic pursuits and a major step in attaining my goal.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,