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Colorfulanimal Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivation letter - Master's degree got rejected twice
Hey guys,
after getting rejected twice because, in addition to my grades, my motivation letters were just bad (as I realized later), I'm trying my best to actually write a good motivation letter for the application for my Master's degree in English this time. I'm from Germany and did my Bachelor's degree in English at the same university I am applying for, I really want to stay there (not only because I like it a lot academic-wise, but also because of personal reasons). Unfortunately, my final score is 2,8 while they're looking for something around 2,5 but I am confident that I will achieve good grades when I'm accepted to this. I would greatly appreciate if some of you university-savvy guys could read this through and correct everything that comes to your mind, I would be eternally thankful.
Cheers!
I will graduate this month from this university, majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in English with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I am applying for your Master’s degree in English. My goal is to pursue a career in the music business, more precisely being employed in the senior staff at a sizable record label, working with international business partners and artists alike. My band’s manager has acquired a Master’s in English and has been successfully working in said field for 30 years, which I inspires me take a similar road.
Over the course of my studies in XXXX (name of the city), I have developed an interest in extending my knowledge about linguistics and language and cognition. The university’s overview of your Master’s degree in English explicates to the possibility to specialize in those, which is a path that would help me broaden my communication skills, which are vital in my desired occupation. Also, there are obligatory research courses, for which methodology and statistics are surely required; two qualifications that I have acquired in my major subject, including the skill to conduct a study and analyze such data in the IBM SPSS software. Having only worked with media-related studies before, I am excited to how statistics can be applied to linguistic issues. Courses like Oral Presentation, Cognitive Linguistics and Translation are consistent with my aforementioned interest. Furthermore, a class that I really enjoyed and passed with good grades, Academic Writing, is recurring in the mandatory section of your Master’s program. Aside from how the contents fit my goals, the qualified way all English classes that I took were taught, the highly competent yet light-hearted academics and the university itself have provided me a desirable learning environment I absolutely want to stay in.
As you may notice, this is not the first time I am applying. With a heavy heart I had to accept a letter of refusal from you twice. Subsequently, I have reflected the reasons you have stated, my previous letters of motivation and the following conversations I had with Mr Haas and the Master’s office. As a result, I feel like I have grown as a person in the meantime and not only gained a much clearer picture of what I want to achieve in my life, but also of what it takes to succeed in this degree. I am elaborating my desire to be a part of your Master’s program with a matured mindset this time.
During my 6-week internship at the xxxxx GmbH (a company) at the end of 2014, I worked at the European Darts Championship in XXXX (city). I helped coordinate the communication to the respective managements of the players and international sponsoring partners, as well as co-wrote translations of advertisements, press texts and information sheets for participants from German to English.
I imagine my grades as well as my final score may spark doubt in my eligibility to be suitable your Master’s program, but I would be grateful if you allowed me to elaborate on this. First, in retrospect, looking at the person I was during my previous studies, including the personal circumstances affecting me, I see my former self as not sorted out enough to achieve the grades I could have had if I had my responsibilities figured out. While I deeply enjoyed the learning environment at our university, back then I had difficulties finding a way to cope with performing well in both my major and minor subject soon enough. Secondly, I was under pressure to build the foundation to my music career, because a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had appeared: A label believes in my band’s music and was willing to fund and release our debut album. Even though the resulting balancing act between my academic career and my music career was a challenge that affected my grades negatively, it helped me develop skills that I would not have achieved under easier circumstances.
Being the band leader, I successfully arranged many production-related tasks involving more than 20 people, some of those being international audio engineers and musicians. Being the lyricist, I wrote a whole concept album surrounding an epic story in the short amount of time left, resulting in positive reviews complimenting my creativity and use of the English language. Lastly, being a student, I experienced what amount of strength is needed to complete two tremendous responsibilities that both require my undivided attention.
Since a few weeks, the music-related duties in my life have shifted to playing live instead of creating new music for the next two years, which is significantly less stressful and time-consuming, allowing me to completely focus on my studies. I am confident that now I am able to put in the labor needed to succeed in the Master’s program. All of my experiences, as well as learning from my mistakes, have shaped me into the valuable student I aspire to be; a student that would give his best to let this university benefit from a positive decision following this application.
I would be honored to be allowed to continue my studies at this university. Thank you for your time, I look forward to your answer.
Yours faithfully,
colorfulanimal
after getting rejected twice because, in addition to my grades, my motivation letters were just bad (as I realized later), I'm trying my best to actually write a good motivation letter for the application for my Master's degree in English this time. I'm from Germany and did my Bachelor's degree in English at the same university I am applying for, I really want to stay there (not only because I like it a lot academic-wise, but also because of personal reasons). Unfortunately, my final score is 2,8 while they're looking for something around 2,5 but I am confident that I will achieve good grades when I'm accepted to this. I would greatly appreciate if some of you university-savvy guys could read this through and correct everything that comes to your mind, I would be eternally thankful.
Cheers!
Application for the Master’s degree in English (M.A. Anglistik/Amerikanistik)
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:I will graduate this month from this university, majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in English with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I am applying for your Master’s degree in English. My goal is to pursue a career in the music business, more precisely being employed in the senior staff at a sizable record label, working with international business partners and artists alike. My band’s manager has acquired a Master’s in English and has been successfully working in said field for 30 years, which I inspires me take a similar road.
Over the course of my studies in XXXX (name of the city), I have developed an interest in extending my knowledge about linguistics and language and cognition. The university’s overview of your Master’s degree in English explicates to the possibility to specialize in those, which is a path that would help me broaden my communication skills, which are vital in my desired occupation. Also, there are obligatory research courses, for which methodology and statistics are surely required; two qualifications that I have acquired in my major subject, including the skill to conduct a study and analyze such data in the IBM SPSS software. Having only worked with media-related studies before, I am excited to how statistics can be applied to linguistic issues. Courses like Oral Presentation, Cognitive Linguistics and Translation are consistent with my aforementioned interest. Furthermore, a class that I really enjoyed and passed with good grades, Academic Writing, is recurring in the mandatory section of your Master’s program. Aside from how the contents fit my goals, the qualified way all English classes that I took were taught, the highly competent yet light-hearted academics and the university itself have provided me a desirable learning environment I absolutely want to stay in.
As you may notice, this is not the first time I am applying. With a heavy heart I had to accept a letter of refusal from you twice. Subsequently, I have reflected the reasons you have stated, my previous letters of motivation and the following conversations I had with Mr Haas and the Master’s office. As a result, I feel like I have grown as a person in the meantime and not only gained a much clearer picture of what I want to achieve in my life, but also of what it takes to succeed in this degree. I am elaborating my desire to be a part of your Master’s program with a matured mindset this time.
During my 6-week internship at the xxxxx GmbH (a company) at the end of 2014, I worked at the European Darts Championship in XXXX (city). I helped coordinate the communication to the respective managements of the players and international sponsoring partners, as well as co-wrote translations of advertisements, press texts and information sheets for participants from German to English.
I imagine my grades as well as my final score may spark doubt in my eligibility to be suitable your Master’s program, but I would be grateful if you allowed me to elaborate on this. First, in retrospect, looking at the person I was during my previous studies, including the personal circumstances affecting me, I see my former self as not sorted out enough to achieve the grades I could have had if I had my responsibilities figured out. While I deeply enjoyed the learning environment at our university, back then I had difficulties finding a way to cope with performing well in both my major and minor subject soon enough. Secondly, I was under pressure to build the foundation to my music career, because a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had appeared: A label believes in my band’s music and was willing to fund and release our debut album. Even though the resulting balancing act between my academic career and my music career was a challenge that affected my grades negatively, it helped me develop skills that I would not have achieved under easier circumstances.
Being the band leader, I successfully arranged many production-related tasks involving more than 20 people, some of those being international audio engineers and musicians. Being the lyricist, I wrote a whole concept album surrounding an epic story in the short amount of time left, resulting in positive reviews complimenting my creativity and use of the English language. Lastly, being a student, I experienced what amount of strength is needed to complete two tremendous responsibilities that both require my undivided attention.
Since a few weeks, the music-related duties in my life have shifted to playing live instead of creating new music for the next two years, which is significantly less stressful and time-consuming, allowing me to completely focus on my studies. I am confident that now I am able to put in the labor needed to succeed in the Master’s program. All of my experiences, as well as learning from my mistakes, have shaped me into the valuable student I aspire to be; a student that would give his best to let this university benefit from a positive decision following this application.
I would be honored to be allowed to continue my studies at this university. Thank you for your time, I look forward to your answer.
Yours faithfully,
colorfulanimal
Top answer
I will graduate this month from this university, majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in English with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I am applying for your master’s degree in English. My goal is to pursue a career in the music industry as a manager with a major record label, working with international business partners and artists.
- I will graduate this month from this university, majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in English with a Bachelor of Arts degree.
- I am applying for your master’s degree in English.
- My goal is to pursue a career in the music industry as a manager with a major record label, working with international business partners and artists.
- I am inspired by the manager of my band who has a master’s in English and who has been successfully working in this field for 30 years.
- Over the course of my studies in XXXX (name of the city), I have developed an interest in extending my knowledge of linguistics and cognition.
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3 Answers
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I will graduate this month from this university, majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in English with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I am applying for your master’s degree in English. My goal is to pursue a career in the music industry as a manager with a major record label, working with international business partners and artists. I am inspired by the manager of my band who has a master’s i
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Thank you very much! You cut a lot of information out, did you think it doesn't contribute towards a good impression or were my expressions just bad language-wise?
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I cut it out because I thought it was unnecessary; your letter was too long.
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