0
Mahdis.D Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivation Letter for University Application
Hello, here is my final draft of motivation letter for university application. would someone read it and give me comment about it please? I need this as soon as possible, as I have to apply this week and my time is limited. Thank you!
Dear Sir/Madam,
During the last 3.5 years, I studied Global Nutrition and Health with specialization in Public Health Nutrition and Food Policy at M*** University in Denmark. I have gained both theoretical as well as practical experience in the field of Public Health, both about developed and developing world during this education program. As the youngest student (17 years old when started) I have put lots of effort into my studding and proofed that age doesn’t make you incapable to succeed. I have through my study come to understand how important scientific studies are, in order to plan and execute health intervention strategies for improving the general public health status, be it in the developed world as well as the developing world, and that is also the reason for me to continue my studies in this fields in order to improve my professional knowledge and further hone my scientific skills in regard to this.
I have also had the honor to get two of my own project proposals accepted by the Iranian Nutrition Society institute, and the Public Health and Nutrition departments of the Iranian Ministry of Health and therefore had the extraordinary opportunity to gain practical experience in very professional work environments as such. I have learned a lot from these work experiences, while conducting studies on analysis of the national food labeling policies, and analysis of the iodine deficiency disorders elimination program in Iran and addressing the persisting public health problems related, consequently helping the improvement of these programs and therefore health improvements of the Iranian population.
Non-communicable diseases, macro/micronutrient deficiencies and other nutrition and health related problems are becoming a great concern for societies all over the world and it seems to increase with alarming speed as well. Qualified researchers in these fields are today already facing massive challenges both in the developed as well as the developing world. Being Iranian born I have experienced lack of dedicated and focused efforts in this area which is one of my great motivations to pursue an education in this area as I hope to expose the factors that could help alleviate some of the acute health related problems plaguing so many people in the world today.
After completing the Master's program at your institute, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Public Health. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and both teach and pursue investigation into matters concerning Public Health in academic, as well as public forums. Studying in multicultural environments from high school on, I have learned a lot about cultural differences, and intercultural communication which has raised my qualifications in team work and this I would be happy to share.
I hope you have an interest in accepting me as a student at your esteemed institute, if you have any questions regarding my study abilities or abilities to do field work, please feel free to contact "Person one", PhD M*** University College Copenhagen, strees 8, DK-1126 Copenhagen K, Tel: 0045-******. I look forward to continuing my studies in **** University. Should you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me.
I am enclosing a copy of my diploma and exam results for you to see as well as a copy of my bachelor thesis.
Your Sincerely
Dear Sir/Madam,
During the last 3.5 years, I studied Global Nutrition and Health with specialization in Public Health Nutrition and Food Policy at M*** University in Denmark. I have gained both theoretical as well as practical experience in the field of Public Health, both about developed and developing world during this education program. As the youngest student (17 years old when started) I have put lots of effort into my studding and proofed that age doesn’t make you incapable to succeed. I have through my study come to understand how important scientific studies are, in order to plan and execute health intervention strategies for improving the general public health status, be it in the developed world as well as the developing world, and that is also the reason for me to continue my studies in this fields in order to improve my professional knowledge and further hone my scientific skills in regard to this.
I have also had the honor to get two of my own project proposals accepted by the Iranian Nutrition Society institute, and the Public Health and Nutrition departments of the Iranian Ministry of Health and therefore had the extraordinary opportunity to gain practical experience in very professional work environments as such. I have learned a lot from these work experiences, while conducting studies on analysis of the national food labeling policies, and analysis of the iodine deficiency disorders elimination program in Iran and addressing the persisting public health problems related, consequently helping the improvement of these programs and therefore health improvements of the Iranian population.
Non-communicable diseases, macro/micronutrient deficiencies and other nutrition and health related problems are becoming a great concern for societies all over the world and it seems to increase with alarming speed as well. Qualified researchers in these fields are today already facing massive challenges both in the developed as well as the developing world. Being Iranian born I have experienced lack of dedicated and focused efforts in this area which is one of my great motivations to pursue an education in this area as I hope to expose the factors that could help alleviate some of the acute health related problems plaguing so many people in the world today.
After completing the Master's program at your institute, I plan to continue my education and obtain a Ph.D. in Public Health. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and both teach and pursue investigation into matters concerning Public Health in academic, as well as public forums. Studying in multicultural environments from high school on, I have learned a lot about cultural differences, and intercultural communication which has raised my qualifications in team work and this I would be happy to share.
I hope you have an interest in accepting me as a student at your esteemed institute, if you have any questions regarding my study abilities or abilities to do field work, please feel free to contact "Person one", PhD M*** University College Copenhagen, strees 8, DK-1126 Copenhagen K, Tel: 0045-******. I look forward to continuing my studies in **** University. Should you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me.
I am enclosing a copy of my diploma and exam results for you to see as well as a copy of my bachelor thesis.
Your Sincerely
Top answer
D; I have given you some suggestions on the first paragraphs. In general, your sentences are far too long and complex, so your good ideas are lost. Good writers start with simple sentences.
- D; I have given you some suggestions on the first paragraphs.
- In general, your sentences are far too long and complex, so your good ideas are lost.
- Good writers start with simple sentences.
- This gives both a logical structure and the main points to be covered in the composition.
- Then they combine the sentences to make a polished work.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
1 Answers
0
Hi mahdis.D;
I have given you some suggestions on the first paragraphs.
In general, your sentences are far too long and complex, so your good ideas are lost. Good writers start with simple sentences. This gives both a logical structure and the main points to be covered in the composition. Then they combine the sentences to make a polished work.
You have too much repetition, -
I have given you some suggestions on the first paragraphs.
In general, your sentences are far too long and complex, so your good ideas are lost. Good writers start with simple sentences. This gives both a logical structure and the main points to be covered in the composition. Then they combine the sentences to make a polished work.
You have too much repetition, -
0
Related Questions