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Gh_luc Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing

Motivation Letter for University

Hi,

i am applying for a master of Human Resources in Germany and i have finished my first draft of my motivation letter. Could you please review it and suggest me what changes because i want the letter to be perfect as we get only one shot. thank you so much.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Master of International Human Resource Management starting in the autumn of 2011. Wanting to reunit my family that is already in Berlin i have reviewed with teachers and HR professionals some programs and i am confident now that ********** has the program that best meets my goals of becoming a HR specialist.

Currently I am completing an undergraduate degree in economics and communication at the ******** and in July 2011 I will graduate with a Bachelor in Science with an expected average score above 85%.

During my economic studies I have come to realize what a difference the human capital makes in the struggle of improving the efficient usage of the so scarce resources. By participating to numerous events and conferences organised by JobMate i had the chance to meet HR professionals who helped me discover my passion for this field; it gives me the equilibrium between the rational and emotional.

Even though my undergraduate program didn’t stress enough the HR area I have dedicated a lot of my time to independent research in order acquire knowledge about the investment in Human Capital, Labour Law and HR Managmement completing my Bachelor Thesis „Improving The Labour Effciency Through The Investment in Human Capital”.

I have also a passion for foreign languages and as a result presently I speak Romanian, English, Russian and a little Greek and i am looking forward to start learning German. I am sure that my language skills together with me being an empathic responsible teamworker will be helpful in the multicultural environment of your university.

Thank you so much for your consideration and I look forward to your acceptance of my application.

Sincerely yours,

********* *********
  

Top answer

Here's my first draft response: It's not good enough. Perhaps after giving your BEST effort, you might get a more detailed response from me or someone else.

  • Here's my first draft response: It's not good enough.
  • Perhaps after giving your BEST effort, you might get a more detailed response from me or someone else.
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3 Answers
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Here's my first draft response: It's not good enough.

Perhaps after giving your BEST effort, you might get a more detailed response from me or someone else.



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I took some time to re-think my letter according to the tips in the links you suggested me. i have tried to support every affirmation with a specific argument..i am this because i did that.... I have put effort in making short, simple and easy-understandable sentences.

Please, can you be specific of the things i am doing wrong.

Thank you very much for the time u are taking in adv
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Here's another tip: If you want help from native English speakers, do not use text language. Otherwise, we'll either not respond or we'll respond in the same manner u do. We're giving u valuable time. So don't squander it. In other words, capitalize your sentences, use "you" and not "u", and capitalize "I".

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Master Human Resourc

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