motivation letter for Scholarship

Plz help me correct this letter :
I would like to express my deep gratitude for providing an opportunity to apply for the XXX. I am a Student of XXX(Master of Sc. in Engineering), an international graduate program at XX. I would like to take this opportunity to demonstrate that I have suitable profile that meets the requirements for this scholarship.
I have an excellent academic record throughout my educational life. I come from a middle class family and have always tried to be a support toward my family rather than a burden on them. I was able to secure merit scholarships during my secondary and higher secondary school by grabbing top positions. Later when I took Computer Engineering at University I received high achievers scholarship in 6 semesters. These helped me a lot to continue my costly higher education with minimal support from my family. My hard work and dedication during engineering studies was duly paid back as I achieved third highest CGPA in my session. My financial condition was a big barrier when I decide to take an international study program at XXX, but I realized that studying and living Multicultural city can help not only broaden my horizons but accelerate my academic and professional growth as well. My first year at this university has been a wonderful experience, based on high quality of education coupled with the opportunity of meeting and associating with people from all over the world. But due to my financial situation, I am totally reliant on the generosity of the university to support my studies. I find my resources very limited for the last year of my study as XXX is an expensive city with a high living cost and I look forward to your highest favor in this regard.
Besides attaining quality education I have been participating in other social and communal services as well. During the deadly 2005 earthquake and recent devastating floods across Pakistan, I decided not to sit back and watch people suffer. I along with my friends voluntarily collected funds from our city, bought the basic food and shelter items and delivered them to the needy people in the affected areas, regularly. Since my high school days I have been mentoring and tutoring the younger students in the neighborhood. This has been a great satisfaction to me that I could contribute to the betterment of society. Taking this opportunity I would also like to mention here my entrepreneurial experience. Since my graduation, along with my regular job, I have been tying up with my university friends in order to make a startup. Working enthusiastically on different ideas, on couple of occasions, we come very close to a launch but some factors have so forth hindered the success. But I believe every failure is only a step toward success. I have learnt a lot from these experiences and expect that my stay at XXX university would be a valuable addition to these experiences.
Finally, I would like to state that my academic achievements and communal activities make me a strong candidate for this scholarship. Your help during this last mile would certainly go a long way in supporting me to continue my education smoothly. I am determined to make most out of it by further investing my potentials to achieve better academic results. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favorable consideration.