Motivation letter for primary shool application.<<Need yr comment urgently!

Question

Kindly give me some comment for below ......Anybody's prompt advice will be very very appreciate as I need this on Jun 3....Apologize for my late request as I'm just new to this forum.....

We are very grateful and appreciative of you spending precious time in reading this unexpected letter of ours. The main purpose of this letter is to seek an opportunity of education in your school for my daughter, ***,

We have heard about your school’s sound reputation from many parents and know well about your school’s mission, philosophy, curriculum and facilities from your school’s Web site. l am especially impressed that your school emphasis a balanced and all-rounded development of one’s potential. I have visited your school with my daughter during last year’s Open Day and she likes the environment very much.

Our daughter is currently studying in K3 at ***. She performs well in many aspects – self care & discipline, linguistic development, creativity and emotional development. *** is an adorable girl. She has a bright and cheerful character that contributes to her good social community. She has strong curiosity and energetic to explore new things around her. Our daughter has very creative thinking and she will have much idea arise from her little brain. For example, she will introduce new game rules for card and board games.

We believe in the Multiple Intelligent theory. As such, we have arranged different nature’s interest classes for my daughter. On one hand, we wish her having a balance development. On the other hand, we hope to find out our daughter’s potential talent and develop her interest through various exposure and stimulation.

We would be appreciated if we could be given an interview (anytime) with the Principal for further clarification and we sure that the Principal could obtain a more comprehensive understanding of our daughter.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

Welcome to the Forum.

My general comment is that this letter is written with an extremely high level of politeness that would not be appropriate in Western culture. However, I assume that in Hong Kong this is suitable, so I have not changed it.

Please read carefully, as I've made a number of alterations.

Good luck with this, Clive

We are very grateful and appreciative of your spending your precious time in reading this unexpected letter of ours. Its main purpose is to seek an opportunity for education in your school on behalf of our daughter, ***,

We have heard about your school’s sound reputation from many parents, and know well your school’s mission, philosophy, curriculum and facilities from your school’s Web site. We are especially impressed that your school emphasises a balanced and all-round development of one’s potential. I have visited your school with my daughter during last year’s Open Day and she likes the environment very much.

Our daughter is currently studying in K3 at ***. She performs well in many aspects – self care & discipline, linguistic development, creativity and emotional development. *** is an adorable girl. She has a bright and cheerful character that contributes to her good social relations with her peers. She has strong curiosity and energy to explore new things around her. Our daughter has very creative thinking and many original ideas. For example, she will introduce new rules for card and board games.

We believe in the Multiple Intelligent theory. Consequently, we have arranged classes in various fields of imterest for her. On theone hand, we wish her to have a balanced development. On the other, we hope to discover our daughter’s potential talents and to develop her interests through exposure and stimulation in those areas.

We would be appreciative if we could be given an interview, at any time, with the Principal for further discussions of our daughter's placement in your school.

Cutieangel · Answer

Dear Clive... a million thanks.

If you have time, kindly share with me the western style.

Clive · Answer

Hi again,

In Canad,a I think it would be relatively easy to get an interview in order to discuss this matter. Consequently, I'd probably remove the two paragraphs that describe your daughter. However, it sounds like, in Hong Kong, you have to write an impressive letter to obtain an interview. If that is correct, you probably need these paragraphs.

Best wishes again, Clive

My husband and I are interested in an opportunity for our daughter to attend your school.

**** is currently enrolled in K3 at ***. She performs well in many aspects – self care & discipline, linguistic development, creativity and emotional development. She has a bright and cheerful character that contributes to her good social relations with her peers. She has strong curiosity and energy to explore new things around her. Our daughter has very creative thinking and many original ideas. For example, she will introduce new rules for card and board games.

We believe in the Multiple Intelligence theory. Consequently, we have arranged classes in various fields of interest for her. On the one hand, we wish her to have a balanced development. On the other, we hope to discover our daughter’s potential talents and to develop her interests through exposure and stimulation in those areas.

We are familiar with your school's mission, philosophy, curriculum and facilities, and have heard about its excellent reputation from many parents. We are especially impressed that your school emphasises the child's balanced and all-round development. We visited your school with our daughter during last year’s Open Day and were very impressed.

We would be grateful for an interview to discuss our daughter's placement in your school.

Yours sincerely,

***********

Motivation letter for primary shool application.<<Need yr comment urgently!

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions