0
Blew Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing

Motivation Letter for MSc Application

Hi all,
I'm applying for a MSc program in Europe. I really need some feedback on my first draft since i'm not native Emotion: smile
From the directions;

"-Include a short autobiographical statement covering the development of your academic and professional pursuits, your current activities, and the relevance of your academic, professional, and other related experience to your proposed study.
-why you want to further your studies in this programme
-how your interests and skills will contribute to your success in it to your future career.
-what are your career intentions and why are you interested in pursuing those career choices?
-What accomplishments in your academic, professional, or other related experience are you most proud of and why?
-How would a Master's Degree in this programme help you fulfil your future plans?"

and it is limited with 250 words. Because it is limited, i added some information to my CV. I think this one is ok with the prompt.

Here is my motivation letter:

"My career ambition is to become a professional in energy industry. From power plants to aircraft engines, we must provide more efficient, reliable and cheaper systems to provide sustainability to our modern societies because of limited sources.

I will receive my Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering from xxx in June 2011. I preferred Energy branch as last year specialization field which corresponds my goal and is related with my favorite classes, Fluid Mechanics, Thermodynamics, Heat Transfer and Turbomachinery.

I was fortunate to have an exciting opportunity in designing and developing my own project as an intern at Fluid Mechanics R&D Department of xxx I designed a .... oven that can be used on .... stoves and devised two different systems for .... of the oven and .... of the stove. This was a great experience to combine my intelligence, creativity and knowledge with an effective time management.

I believe the programme will not only strengthen my skills and give expert knowledge that will help me to overcome challenges but also give wider recognition of the energy and aviation industry. Moreover, by joining an international community and mobility between countries, I will gain intercultural competence and better understanding of the world as a whole.

I am confident that I will exceed your expectations, because of my academic skills and enthusiasm as well as the experience gained from my internship. I am sure to enrich the programme by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and positive nature.
"

I'm sorry for censore. I must do it in para 3 because of confidentiality of the project.
thank you for your help and advices!
  

Top answer

Its tough to explain so many things within 250 words. I have some suggestion as follows: "My career ambition is to become a professional in energy i ndustry Sector. From power plants to aircraft engines, we must provide more efficient, reliable and cheaper systems to provide sustainability to our modern societies because of limited sources.

— Mizanur

  • Its tough to explain so many things within 250 words.
  • I have some suggestion as follows: "My career ambition is to become a professional in energy i ndustry Sector.
  • From power plants to aircraft engines, we must provide more efficient, reliable and cheaper systems to provide sustainability to our modern societies because of limited sources.
  • No need this sentence.
  • I will receive recived my Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering from *** in June 2011.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

16 Answers
0
Its tough to explain so many things within 250 words. I have some suggestion as follows:

"My career ambition is to become a professional in energy industry Sector.

From power plants to aircraft engines, we must provide more efficient, reliable and cheaper systems to provide sustainability to our modern societies because of limited sources. No
0
0
my favorite courses Fluid Mechanics
0
0
My name is Tofayel. I am a young Bangladeshi and an engineer. I was just accepted to two universities in the USA because of the excellent statement that was written on my behalf by an organization dedicated to excellence in education and helping foreign students to be accepted to graduate program. I heartily recommend this resource for all engineers that want to go to graduate school and advance t
0
0
Hi Tofayel,

Forgive me for asking you this. but are you also going to pay services like this to write your essays and theses while you are in graduate school?


Clive
0
0
Just I am trying to gather knowledge various way and share with others.
0
0
Thank you for your precious help Mizan, you're right about that it is very hard to clarify things in 250 words.

Thanks for your advice Tofayel, i know that there are some organizations, but i also know that it is not the right thing. I'm agree with Clive.

By the way, i'm still open to advices. Do you have any advices about my draft ? I really need your help. That word limit rest
0
0
Hi,

I'm applying for a MSc program in Europe. I really need some feedback on my first draft since i'm not native Emotion: smile
From
0
0
Hi Clive,
thank you so much for your help, i revised it, changed and delete some parts. I did not change the part of "by joining an internation community at abc University", because the program has more than one university
0
0
Hi,

Dear Sir or Madam,

My career ambition is to become a professional in the energy sector. I have determined my desire to pursue my education and career in the field of Aeromechanics and Turbomachinery, not for salary reasons but rather from m
0
0
Hi Clive, i revised some parts again. By the way, i cut the "thanks a lot" part from the letter(i need to spend words better Emotion: smile ). Bes
0

Related Questions