Motivation letter for EVS project

Question

I tried to write a motivational letter to apply to European Volunteer Service(EVS) but I really need someone who kindly help me.
Would you please read if it works, and maybe give me some advice on how to improve it?
Thank you in advance for your support.

Dear ------,

I am ----, I live in Turkey and I am 18 years old. I am writing this letter for applying for the position as a volunteer at the EVS project in -----.

This year i graduated from high school and I'm preparing to the university exam second time because i got bad result this year. I have an empty year before the exam and i want to fill it with studying and volunteering, but i got a problem about the period of evs projects I cant stay as volunteer for long time because i have to study for my exam, this project fully fits my requirements because it is only for 23 days.

I have a wide variety of interests, in my free times I am reading book, riding bicycle, watching movies, listening music, coding basic programs-scripts and playing online video games with my friends from all around the world. Also we got a small garden and we grow vegetables in this garden, so I can say that I have some knowledge about gardening.

Like i said I am just graduated from my high school so I don't have much work experience on jobs, I got only some experience as waiter, and tourist guide, I would say that these experiences give me good communication skills. Also I can use computer well, I can use Microsoft Office, Libre Office, Gimp, Adobe Photoshop, live stream softwares like OBS, and other computer softwares.

I never volunteered to EVS project that will be my first time, I got some volunteering experience in my town like teaching Turkish to refugees and planting trees.

I would like to join this EVS project because, I was always curious about northern European countries. I know this is not language course but i always wanted to learn Swedish so if i get choosen for this project that will be great start for me. I think i meet all requirements, I can work in hard conditions, i was working for a short time at constructions and restoration works so i got knowledge about it, Working with foreign people in foreign country, It will be perfect experience for me.

I will be available for an interview at your convenience. I am looking forward to receiving reply.

Yours Sincerely

-----

Gottadoit · Accepted Answer

-------------

I am ---~~, I live in Turkey and I am 18 years old. I am writing this letter for applying for the position as a volunteer at the EVS project in~~ --------

This year I graduated from high school and I'm preparing for the university exam second time because I got a bad result this year. I have an empty year before the exam and I want to fill it with studying and volunteering, but I got a problem about the period of EVS projects I cant stay as volunteer for a long time because I have to study for my exam, this project fully fits my requirements because it is only for 23 days.

I have a wide variety of interests, in my free times I am reading book, riding bicycle, watching movies, listening music, coding basic programs-scripts and playing online video games with my friends from all around the world. Also, we got a small garden and we grow vegetables in this garden, so I can say that I have some knowledge of gardening.

Like I said I am just graduated from my high school so I don't have much work experience on jobs, I got only some experience as a waiter, and tourist guide, I would say that these experiences give me good communication skills. Also, I can use the computer well, I can use Microsoft Office, Libre Office, Gimp, Adobe Photoshop, live stream softwares like OBS, and other computer softwares.

I never volunteered to EVS project that will be my first time, I got some volunteering experience in my town like teaching Turkish to refugees and planting trees.

I would like to join this EVS project because I was always curious about northern European countries. I know this is not a language course but I always wanted to learn Swedish so if I get chosen for this project that will be a great start for me. I think I meet all requirements, I can work in hard conditions, I was working for a short time at constructions and restoration works so I got knowledge about it, Working with foreign people in a foreign country, It will be a perfect experience for me.

I will be available for an interview at your convenience. I am looking forward to receiving a reply.

Yours Sincerely

-----------

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Dear ------,

I have highlighted text that needs attention. You make a lot of comma splice errors. Red this:

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-splice/

You also frequently use "got" when you should use "have." "Got" used in this way is substandard English.

~~I am ----,~~ My name is Jan Janssen. I live in Turkey and I am 18 years old. I am writing this letter ~~for~~ ~~applying~~ to ~~for the position as a~~ volunteer in at the EVS project in -----.

This year i ("i" is the ninth letter of the English alphabet. It does not refer to a person, so it cannot graduate or want anything..) graduated from high school and I'm preparing to the university exam second time because i got (missing word) bad result this year. I have an empty year before the exam and i want to fill it with studying and volunteering, but i got a problem about the period of evs projects I cant stay as (missing word) volunteer for long time because i have to study for my exam, (comma splice error) this project fully fits my requirements because it is only for 23 days.

I have a wide variety of interests, (comma splice error) in my free times I am reading book, riding (missing word) bicycle, watching movies, listening (missing word) music, coding basic programs or scripts and playing online video games with my friends from all around the world. Also we got a small garden and we grow vegetables in this garden, so I can say that I have some knowledge about gardening.

Like i said I am just graduated from my high school so I don't have much work experience on jobs, (comma splice error) I got only some experience as waiter, and tourist guide, (comma splice error) I would say that these experiences give me good communication skills. Also I can use (missing word) computer well, (comma splice error) I can use Microsoft Office, Libre Office, Gimp, Adobe Photoshop, live stream softwares like OBS, and other computer softwares.

I never volunteered to (missing word) EVS project that will be my first time, (comma splice error) I got some volunteering experience in my town like teaching Turkish to refugees and planting trees.

I would like to join this EVS project because, I was always curious about northern European countries. I know this is not (missing word) language course but i always wanted to learn Swedish so if i get choosen for this project (comma) that will be great start for me. I think i meet all requirements, I can work in hard conditions, (comma splice error) i was working for a short time at constructions and restoration works so i got knowledge about it, (comma splice error) Working with foreign people in foreign country~~, It~~ will be (missing word) perfect experience for me.

I will be available for an interview at your convenience. I am looking forward to receiving (missing word) reply.

Yours Sincerely

-----

Motivation letter for EVS project

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