motivation letter for embassy of germany

Hi!
i am trying to write a motivation letter for embassy of germany .
please give me advises and correct my letter.
Thank you in advance!

I am XXXX XXXX, the undergraduate student of Khayyam University in Software Engineering.
I have always been thinking about my future, building a career, becoming a successful person and generally finding my own path in the life.
Almost all my family including my uncles, aunts and cousins have their jobs which somehow connected to the field of technology. I have grown among intelligent people and it had great influence on the development of my personality so since early childhood I have learn the importance of education.
My school teachers always noted that I had good abilities in such subjects as mathematics and physics. This increased my interest in exact sciences, and I decided to connect my future career with technological area of activity, wishing to gain success in the future. And if I become successful I will pay back my parents for their warmth and loving tender, as they have been those who have been supporting me throughout my life.
For that reason I constructed a plan for achieving this long-term aim. By the plan I accomplished some small objectives: graduated from school in the number of the best students and won a konkor to study in Khayyam University of Software Engineering. This year I am graduated from the university, and plan to enter one of the best universities of the world for my Masters’ degree. I spent much time searching, and at last I chose the ITIS program among other universities of the Germany.
As matter of fact, universities in Germany offer plenty of choice, including some of the most prestigious institutions in western Europe. In addition to world_class universities, Germany also offers high quality of life, relatively low tuition fees, and extensive support and scholarship schemes for international students.
The first acquaintance with your university began from collecting particular information about it. From the data I had found I managed to make some basic picture explaining why I chose it.
Clasthal University is the biggest innovative center which takes active part in the field of fundamental and applied sciences. Furthermore, the research investigations of students and scientists make a great contribution to the development of high technologies in and outside the Germany. In addition to investigative work the university keeps on stimulating entrepreneurial abilities in its students. All the articles about achievements of the university let me conclude that Clasthal University is the most suitable institution to realize my potential.
I have been doing many projects using Oracle Business Intelligence in some governments that bring about lot of real-time and practical experiences. For instance, using Oracle Business Intelligence and Decision Support System, I created a system for Red Crescent to have the on-line statistics of what they have in their relief repository in order to reach a better management of the relief and first aid goods. This is very essential service since one of the strong points of Red Crescent is to have the supportive repository for quick relief actions across country.
I found the ITIS programs the best environments where I can improve my abilities in Information Systems academically such as team working, presentation, Research and Development, in international level. Moreover, ITIS programs cuts the borders and introduces me some new friends with different nationalities that we can share our knowledge and experiences, so we can make a team and implement much complex feature of Information System.

In spite of some challenges that I have had in my life such as age limitation, lack of experiences and being studying at the same time, fortunately I could manage to implement some complex features of Information Systems in real-time and under pressure situations. On top of that, during my projects, I have offered and created solutions to our customers based on their update and ever changing needs. All these help me to better match some complex academic subjects with my real-time experiences and may be extend my idea in special field of Information Systems.
With respect to my future career, as I mentioned before the fact, that ITIS program links its activity with investigative work and at the same time develop entrepreneurial skills of its students, is a fundamental reason of why I desire to study exactly here. The question is that our nation is lack of highly qualified specialists in the field of Software Engineering. What is more, as user I am not satisfied with the level of provision of different Software that are also very expensive and I am sure that I am not the only one who supposes so. I believe that our country has much more potential; therefore, as a true patriot, I wish to contribute to the development of the Software. In other words, if I gain the Masters’ degree in your country then I am going to return back to my homeland to make efforts to develop my own computer company for the purpose of providing enterprise Software of a high quality at a reasonable price. To implement such goal I need to improve my leadership qualities and acquire special knowledge in chosen field of education, which will be possible if I join ITIS program.
Finally, since moving to Germany and beginning to study German, I find I am really enjoying my German classes not only for the language itself, but also for learning many facts about Germany together with various fascinating things about Germany and the German mentality. Germans are reliable and responsible people. I also know that the German system of higher education provides students with a high extent of freedom that requires strong self-control and self-discipline. This highly motivating atmosphere, together with the German mentality, create the most suitable environment for effective study and research.
Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours sincerely,
XXX XXXXXXX