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Loicfr Posted 21 years ago
Letter Writing
Motivation letter : could you help me with my english?
Hi, I would like to send the following motivation letter to a company (its client is in London and I live in France), but I am not sure of certain words and grammar. Could you please give me your opinion?
Dear Hiring Manager,
Your advertisement on xyz.com for a software developer in London fits my experience and qualifications, and I am writing you to express my interest and enthusiasm for the position.
I have a four years experience in varied fields of computer science which developed my excellent adaptation skills and my proficiency in web and object-oriented programming. Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom and an experience in a European hotline will show (prove...?) you my interest in the(?) international environment. I would really enjoy continuing software development in the field of finance for your client.
Currently committed in a development project, I will be available in July 2005. If this delay is too important, please be aware (know...?) I would like to consider any other relevant position you may have at this time.
I enclose a copy of my curriculum-vitae which will give you further particulars of my studies and work experience to date. Should you require any further details, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time.
Respectfully yours,
Thank you for your help!
Loïc
Dear Hiring Manager,
Your advertisement on xyz.com for a software developer in London fits my experience and qualifications, and I am writing you to express my interest and enthusiasm for the position.
I have a four years experience in varied fields of computer science which developed my excellent adaptation skills and my proficiency in web and object-oriented programming. Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom and an experience in a European hotline will show (prove...?) you my interest in the(?) international environment. I would really enjoy continuing software development in the field of finance for your client.
Currently committed in a development project, I will be available in July 2005. If this delay is too important, please be aware (know...?) I would like to consider any other relevant position you may have at this time.
I enclose a copy of my curriculum-vitae which will give you further particulars of my studies and work experience to date. Should you require any further details, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time.
Respectfully yours,
Thank you for your help!
Loïc
Top answer
Hi, Mostly ok, I would change the first part so that you are saying your experience and qualifications suits their needs rather than the other way round. They want to know what you can do for them, not what their job can do for you! Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom no hyphen and an delete an experience in at or with a European hotline hotline?
- Hi, Mostly ok, I would change the first part so that you are saying your experience and qualifications suits their needs rather than the other way round.
- They want to know what you can do for them, not what their job can do for you!
- Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom no hyphen and an delete an experience in at or with a European hotline hotline?
- call-centre?
- ) international environment.
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2 Answers
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Hi,
Mostly ok, I would change the first part so that you are saying your experience and qualifications suits their needs rather than the other way round. They want to know what you can do for them, not what their job can do for you!
Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom no hyphen and an delete an experience in at or with a European hotline
Mostly ok, I would change the first part so that you are saying your experience and qualifications suits their needs rather than the other way round. They want to know what you can do for them, not what their job can do for you!
Furthermore, a training period in the United-Kingdom no hyphen and an delete an experience in at or with a European hotline
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Thank you very much for your advice, nona the brit. The fact is that I prefered not begining my sentence with "I". But, anyway, what do you think of this firt part?
I am writing you to express my interest and enthusiasm for the position of a software developer in London as advertised on xyz.com, as my experience and qualifications suit your needs.
Aren't there to man
I am writing you to express my interest and enthusiasm for the position of a software developer in London as advertised on xyz.com, as my experience and qualifications suit your needs.
Aren't there to man
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