Motivation letter correction for volunteer position.

Hi everyone! I need some help with my motivation letter. I would like you to check if it's convincing enough for me to get the position. Thank you very much!

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Dear Sir/Madame,

First of all, thank you for offering me the opportunity to be a part of your organization. I’ve seen your volunteer recruitment via Volunteer for Peace Vietnam and have had a profound eagerness for the position mentoring homeless people ever since. It would be a great opportunity for me to open my hearts to help the underprivileged build their lives as well as to learn more about life. Although l have little experience in the field, I hope that my positions as an English teacher and a catechist may somehow make me feel more ready to take up the position at the Edinburgh Cyrenians.

As mentioned in the enclosed CV, the highlight of my experience is that I’ve been teaching the Bibles for nearly 2 years. In the period, there were such difficult times when I first worked with the children, but luckily, with my eagerness to learn along with the enthusiasm for the job, I picked it up quickly by making countless efforts. I greatly pride myself in the fact that many children like to work with me because of my sense of humor, ability to play the piano (for them to sing) and friendly manner. Because of this, a great number of children have showed drastic improvement in their manner, especially the class of 2015-2016 whose nearly all children improved in both conduct and knowledge about the Catholic Church and its disciples. As the position at the Cyrenians also requires to work with young people, older as they are, I believe that I’ll do the job well.

I believe that everyone should be treated equally irrespective of their backgrounds as your missions do. Therefore, I am highly motivated to open my hearts to help others, giving them opportunities to develop themselves and their own lives. I believe I can make the best of my contribution towards building the organization. I hope my appearance at the organization will not only have positive influence on Scottish youngsters but also Vietnamese ones by widening the network of the Cyrenians, making more Vietnamese people know about the organization, giving opportunities to many more people.

To me, being responsible for everything is top priority no matter the job is paid or not, therefore, I promise to donate the best of myself to helping others and building the organization. I really look forward to hearing from you soon!

Yours faithfully,