Motivation Letter

Question

I am grateful to have this opportunity to express my intent to apply for the Master’s program XXX.My Fascination with architecture and structures went back to the first time I built a house in virtual world as a child. Although that experience is unparallel with academic architecture, it was the first glimpse of what I desire to do as an adult in real world. Ever since Structures were of particular appeal to me and my professional objective is to design conceivable yet eccentric structures.To fulfill this goal, I took extra classes to improve my drawing skills and got my high school diploma in mathematics and physics that empowered my numerical background. Subsequently I majored in Civil engineering, which made me eager to expand my knowledge in architecture after taking XXX course. Although the main purpose of the course was to familiarize civil engineering students with architectural concepts and designs, the course showed me how imagination materialize, specially after studying Santiago Calatrava’s unique exceptional works. He is my inspiration Since his comprehension in both engineering and architecture enabled him to merge the boundaries of unachievable in order to design structural masterpieces. His impression on me pushed me to study architecture professionally to strengthen my foundation and acquire essential skills, theoretically and practically. In addition, I always had an eye for innovation and pioneering technologies, as they are inseparable with any field of science and art nowadays. As a Civil engineering student I am well skilled with various designing tools. However, I enrolled in classes in architectural soft wares that are thoroughly instrumental in making subjective concepts more perceptible and necessary to promote advance building technologies.My strength point is that I can make accurate connection between different information and compound them in order to make sensible results. Indeed, I believe my background in Civil engineering and additional architectural skills would only be sufficient when I attend the right Master course to give my path a direction. Hence, help me understand and design feasible yet groundbreaking structures.I always revered architecture for it is a state of art looking at by the right angle from scientific perspective. However, today's architecture requires another component in design which is the utilization of newfound technologies and materials. Thus conversational architecture entangled with innovation supported by science and technology is what I seek to persuade in Master study and XXX course embodies them all. Moreover, course curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to experience and learn. And the diversity of prospective students and facilities in the course make it a more dynamic and refreshing atmosphere to let creativity bloom. Furthermore, what intrigue me the most is the multidisciplinary attribute of XXX that has the capacity to enrich my career and actualize my end.I am perpetual self challenger and the XXX course, beside enhancing my knowledge and unlocking my potential, will challenge me to excel myself constantly. Nevertheless, being a part of this program will give me a chance to investigate and study side by side of selective elite counterparts and professors in fields that I truly enjoy and aspire.Hi guys! I have written this letter after a month of truly thinking about my motives to enter this program. However,I am not sure if it sounds academic  moreover I have some other questions which I would appreciate it a lot if you help me with.Should I add something like "Thank you for considering my application, I am looking forward to enter the program." in the end?Is my first paragraph enough or I should start with my name and current status?Does it lack coherence ?Have I utilize the Capital correctly?In The end, Is it good? do you have any suggestion to improve?Thank you very much

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Meyfam70Should I add something like "Thank you for considering my application, I am looking forward to enter the program." in the end?

Yes. That would be appropriate. Most letters have this ending.

Meyfam70Is my first paragraph enough or I should start with my name and current status?

Your name and status will be in other documents as part of your application. You don't need to repeat all that again.

Meyfam70Does it lack coherence ?

To test coherence, you should be able to outline your letter, with each paragraph having one main point and explanation with examples. What is the main point in each paragraph?
I think you can improve the organization and flow of your ideas.

Meyfam70Have I utilize the Capital correctly?

No. If you have one subject, eg. "Civil Engineering", then either both words are capitalized or none of them are. You must be consistent.

Meyfam70In The end, Is it good? do you have any suggestion to improve?

There are many places which are awkward and ungrammatical.

Meyfam70 · Answer

Thank you Ill make necessary corrections, but can you be a bit more specific about the awkward and ungrammatical places you mentioned?

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Meyfam70Thank you Ill make necessary corrections, but can you be a bit more specific about the awkward and ungrammatical places you mentioned?

If you make another draft, we can work from that point...

Meyfam70 · Answer

Hello

I made few alterations.

I am grateful to have this opportunity to express my intention to apply for the Master's program ***
My Fascination with architecture and structures goes back to the first time I built a house in virtual world as a child. Although that experience is unparalleled with academic architecture, it was the first glimpse of what I desire to do as an adult in real world. Ever since Structures were of particular appeal to me and my professional objective is to design conceivable yet eccentric structures.
To fulfill this goal, I took extra classes to improve my drawing skills and got my high school diploma in mathematics and physics that empowered my numerical background. Subsequently I majored in civil engineering, which made me eager to expand my knowledge in architecture after taking "Architecture and Urban Design" course. Although the main purpose of the course was to familiarize civil engineering students with architectural concepts and designs, the course showed me how imagination materialize, specially after studying Santiago Calatrava's unique exceptional works. He is my inspiration Since his comprehension in both engineering and architecture enabled him to merge the boundaries of unachievable in order to design structural masterpieces. His impression on me pushed me to study architecture professionally to strengthen my foundation and acquire essential skills, theoretically and practically. In addition, I always had an eye for innovation and pioneering technologies, as they are inseparable with any field of science and art nowadays. As a Civil engineering student I am well skilled with various designing and analyzing computational tools. However, I enrolled in classes in architectural soft wares such as 3D MAX to broaden my computational skills in designing as they are thoroughly instrumental in making subjective concepts more perceptible and necessary to promote advance building technologies.
I believe my background in civil engineering and additional architectural skills would only be sufficient in reaching my goal when I attend the right Master course to give my path a direction. Hence, help me design feasible yet groundbreaking structures and understand building systems better.
I always revered architecture for it is a state of art looking at by the right angle from scientific perspective. However, today's architecture requires another component in design which is the utilization of newfound technologies and materials. Thus conversational architecture entwined with innovation supported by science and technology is what I seek to persuade in Master study and *** course embodies them all. Moreover, course curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to experience and learn. And the diversity of prospective students backgrounds and facilities involved in the course make it a more dynamic and refreshing atmosphere to let creativity bloom. Indeed, what intrigue me the most is the multidisciplinary attribute of *** that has the capacity to enrich my career and actualize my end.
I am perpetual self challenger and the *** course have the potential to enhance my knowledge while challenging me to excel myself constantly. Nevertheless, being a part of this International program will give me a chance to investigate and study side by side of selective elite counterparts and professors in fields that I truly enjoy and aspire.
Thank you for considering my application. I am so looking forward to enter this program.
Sincerely Yours,

P.S: thank you AlphaeccaStars for your time. It really means a lot to me.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Here are some suggestions to the first few paragraphs.

I am grateful to have this opportunity to ~~express my intention to~~ apply (you are not intending to apply, are you? This is the real application, isn't it?) for the Master's program ***
My Fascination (not capital) with architecture and structures goes back to the first time I built a house in a virtual world as a child. Although that experience is unparalleled with academic architecture (actually, I think it is, because architects do imagine their structures before they are built), it was the first glimpse of what I desire to do as an adult in real world. Ever since Structures (not capital) were of a particular appeal (this is very awkward)to me and (you cannot put a coordinating conjunction between a dependent and independent clause) my professional objective is to design conceivable yet eccentric (crazy?? do you mean Gaudi-like?) structures.

To fulfill this goal, I took extra classes to improve my drawing skills and got my high school diploma in mathematics and physics that empowered my numerical background. (awkward. One cannot empower a background.) Subsequently I majored in civil engineering, which made me eager to expand my knowledge in architecture after taking "Architecture and Urban Design" course. (this sentence does not make sense. Did you take the course after you majored in Civil Engineering?) Although the main purpose of the course was to familiarize civil engineering students with architectural concepts and designs, the course showed me how imagination materialize, (this is very awkward. Things materialize - eg. become tangible. Imagination cannot do this. It is never material. ) specially after studying Santiago Calatrava's unique and exceptional works. He is my inspiration Since his comprehension in of both engineering and architecture enabled him to merge the boundaries of unachievable (? I don't know what you mean here. Unachievable means that it is impossible to reach or accomplish, as in an unachievable goal. It is an adjective.) in order to design structural masterpieces. His impression on me pushed (motivate, inspire, compel?) me to study architecture professionally to strengthen my foundation and acquire essential skills, theoretically and practically. In addition, I always had an eye for innovation and pioneering technologies, as they are inseparable with any field of science and art nowadays. As a Civil engineering student I am well skilled with various design~~ing~~, ~~and~~ analysis, and computational tools. However, I enrolled in classes in architectural soft wares (One word, non-count) such as 3D MAX to broaden my computational skills in designing as they are ~~thoroughly~~ instrumental in making subjective concepts ~~more~~ perceptible and necessary to promote advance (two verbs. which one did you mean?) building technologies (techniques?).

Meyfam70 · Answer

WOW!!! First i have to say Thank you again, I owe you a big time. You were extremely thorough!!!

1. I am grateful to have this opportunity to express my interest in the Master’s program.
2. Ever since structures were of a particular appeal to me. Thus my professional objective is to design conceivable yet breakthrough structures.
3.that strengthen my calculation
4. Subsequently I majored in civil engineering, which made me eager to expand my knowledge in architecture after attending “Architecture and Urban Design” class.
5. how ideas materialize ( is this right?)
6. His impression on me motivated me
7.enabled him to merge the boundaries of imagination in order to design structural masterpieces.
8.As a civil engineering student I am well skilled with various design or analysis software.
9. to promote advanced building technologies.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Here are some suggestions on the final paragraphs:

I believe my background in civil engineering and additional architectural skills would only be sufficient in reaching my goal when I attend the right Master course to give my path a direction. Hence, help me design feasible yet groundbreaking structures and understand building systems better. (I tried to understand this paragraph, but cannot. Do you mean your current background is OK - sufficient - to meet your career goals as an architect? Re-write this paragraph. )

I always revered architecture (You have already said this. It is repetitive.) for it is a state of art (I disagree. Architecture has been around for thousand of years. Consider the tomb buildings at Petra, the Parthenon, Roman aqueducts and Brunelleschi's dome!) looking at by the right angle (90 degrees?) from a scientific perspective. However, today's architecture requires ~~another component in design which is~~ the utilization of new-found (we don't really "find" new technology; it is invented.) technologies and materials. Thus conversational (conventional? Conversational is dialog among people) architecture entwined with innovation supported by science and technology is what I seek to persuade (who do you want to convince?) in Master study and *** course embodies them all. Moreover, the ~~course~~ curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to ~~experience and~~ learn. And the diversity of prospective students (possessive plural) backgrounds and facilities involved in the course make it a more dynamic and refreshing atmosphere to let creativity bloom. Indeed, what intrigue me the most is the multidisciplinary attribute (aspect?) of *** that has the capacity to enrich my career and actualize my end. (This sounds weird)
I am perpetual self-challenger and the *** course have the potential to enhance my knowledge while challenging me to excel ~~myself~~ constantly. Nevertheless, being a part of this International program will give me a chance to investigate (investigate what?) and study side by side (hypenated) with of selective elite counterparts and professors in fields that I truly enjoy ~~and aspire~~.
Thank you for considering my application. I am so looking forward to enter this program.
Sincerely Yours,
--------------------------------

You really need to be more specific. The letter is full of general statements that everyone makes.
There are some good parts where you describe an architect you admire (but not why). There is nothing more after that. What kinds of buildings do you want to design and why? What kind of career do you want? What are the major challenges in architecture today? What specifically are today's "new materials"?

Meyfam70 · Answer

I have to confess I now understand why you said some sentences were awkward

your last comment was really helpful indeed. thanks.
I paraphrased what I wrote earlier:

I believe my background in civil engineering and additional architectural skills are not enough to actualize my goal. Therefore, I need to attend the right master course to give my path a direction, help me design feasible yet groundbreaking structures and understand building systems better. Furthermore, since advanced technologies have changed our approach to architecture, I tend to study and investigate in fields relating to development of construction technologies in order to deal with today’s major challenges such as the increasing need for sustainable buildings or environmentally friendly building materials.
I always revered architecture for it is a state of art looking at by the right angle from a scientific perspective. However, today's architecture requires another component in design which is the utilization of modern technologies and materials. Thus conventional architecture entwined with innovation supported by science and technology is what I seek to pursue in master study and *** course embodies them all. Moreover, the curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to learn. Besides, the diversity of prospective student backgrounds and facilities involved in the course make it a more interactive atmosphere for even subtle ideas to unveil, cultivate, distinguish and glorify. Indeed, what intrigues me the most is the multidisciplinary aspect of *** that has the capacity to enrich my career and goal.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

I believe my background in civil engineering and ~~additional~~ architecture ~~al skills~~ are not advanced/strong enough to actualize my goals. Therefore, I need to attend the right master course (Master's degree program) to give my path a direction, help me design feasible yet groundbreaking structures and understand building systems better. Furthermore, since advanced technologies have changed our approach to architecture, I tend (need?) to study and investigate in fields relating to the development of construction technologies in order to deal with today’s major challenges such as the increasing need for sustainable buildings or environmentally-friendly building materials.
I always revered architecture for it is an art form based on science? ~~a state of art looking at by the right angle from a scientific perspective~~. However, today's architecture requires another component in design which is the utilization of modern technologies and materials. (I think you already said this.)Thus conventional architecture entwined with innovation (Do they teach innovation in the program?) supported by science and technology is what I seek to pursue in master study and *** course embodies them all (You might say why you believe this statement - what is your evidence?). Moreover, the curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to learn (You just said something very similar. What disciplines in particular are you referring to? You need to be more concrete and specific rather than saying the same general ideas over and over again.) . Besides, the diversity of prospective student backgrounds and facilities involved in the course make it a more interactive atmosphere for even subtle ideas to unveil, cultivate, distinguish and glorify.(What do ideas cultivate? ) Indeed, what intrigues me the most is the multidisciplinary aspect of *** that has the capacity to enrich my career and goal.

Meyfam70 · Answer

I think you are right. I eliminate some of my previous statements but my deadline is tomorrow, so this is my last shot This master course is not an ordinary master in architecture and emphasizes on new approaches to architecture and above that to computational design.

I am grateful to have this opportunity to express my interest in the Master’s program “Integrative Technologies and Architectural Design (ITECH)”.
My fascination with architecture and structures goes back to the first time I built a house in a virtual world as a child. Although that experience is unparalleled with academic architecture, it was the first glimpse of what I desire to do as an adult in real world. Ever since, structures were of a particular appeal to me. Thus my professional objective is to design conceivable yet breakthrough structures.
To fulfill this goal, I took extra classes to improve my drawing skills and got my high school diploma in mathematics and physics that strengthen my calculation. Subsequently I majored in civil engineering, which made me eager to expand my knowledge in architecture after attending “Architecture and Urban Design” class. Although the main purpose of the course was to familiarize civil engineering students with architectural concepts and designs, the course showed me how ideas materialize, especially after studying Santiago Calatrava’s unique exceptional works. He is my inspiration since his comprehension in both engineering and architecture enabled him to merge the boundaries of imagination in order to design structural masterpieces. His impression on me motivated me to study architecture professionally to strengthen my foundation and acquire essential skills, theoretically and practically. In addition, I always had an eye for innovation and pioneering technologies, as they are inseparable with any field of science and art nowadays. As a civil engineering student I am well skilled with various design or analysis software. However, I enrolled in classes in architectural software such as 3D MAX to broaden my computational skills in designing as they are instrumental in making subjective concepts perceptible and necessary to promote advanced building technologies.
I believe my background in civil engineering and architecture are not advanced enough to actualize my goals. Therefore, I need to attend the right Master’s degree program to give my path a direction, help me design feasible yet groundbreaking structures and understand building systems better. Furthermore, since advanced technologies have changed our approach to architecture, I need to study and investigate fields relating to the development of construction technologies in order to deal with today’s major challenges such as the increasing need for sustainable buildings or environmentally friendly building materials.
Conventional architecture entwined with pioneering techniques and innovative approach is what I seek to pursue in master study and ITECH course embodies them all. Moreover, the curriculum encompasses all the necessary disciplines I need to learn such as the Computational Design and Digital Fabrication module that provide proficiency in designing structure using Integrative technologies. Besides, the diversity of prospective student backgrounds and facilities involved in the course make it an interactive atmosphere for even subtle ideas to unveil, distinguish and glorify. Indeed, what intrigues me most is the multidisciplinary aspect of ITECH that has the capacity to enrich my career and goal.
I am perpetual self-challenger and the ITECH course has the potential to enhance my knowledge while challenging me to excel myself constantly. Nevertheless, being a part of this international program will give me a chance to research and study side-by-side with selective elite counterparts and professors in fields that I truly enjoy.
Thank you for considering my application. I am so looking forward to join this program.
Sincerely Yours,

To whom should I write this letter?
Dear ....? or nothing?
should I write address and everything like normal letters?

Motivation Letter

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