motivation letter

can anybody pls check my motivation letter?
i'm applying postgraduate study
thx a lot

I am interested to learn about business at first because I am inspired with my parents who successfully raising all of their children of four daughters and two sons even though they were not a formal worker with sufficient income. My father works as an employee in a private company located near the port and had his retirement early because of the company was bankrupt when we, the children, were still in elementary school. My mother was basically a house wife that due to the difficult economy situation in our family, she started to look for extra money by giving individual loan to our neighbor. Although takes time, this small business was growing consistently because of her perseverance, the number of customer was increasing as well as the revenue gained, and she was capable of managing the money not only for our daily cost but also for our school expenses untill we all finished undergraduate level, and even more our family could buy some investment assets such as land and houses. Her experience gave me life lesson that success could be achieved with hard and dilligent work and the result could be amazing beyond the average income of working employees.
Remembering back when I was at school, I realized that since elementary until undergraduate I had never being taught about enterpreneurship at school and therefore I had little interest on it. My first working experience was also didn’t require me to think and act like a businessman, so I just did my job description as a trainer without concern whether the company is growing or not. However the role model from my mother open my perspective about the importance of business, and it challenged me more since my mother is only a high school graduate. So, I was thinking about starting a business of my own immediately; and because I am a risk avoider person, I did not quit my job but tried to manage it simultaneously with working as an employee. I and my wife opened a psychological biro with my wife as the psychologist and I ran the management matters. The main customer target is the parents of school age children, with its primary concept is about development and educational issues.
In the beginning of setting up the biro, I did survey to find prospective location at main roadside with high traffic density and its coverage of many schools, and then I design the biro’s external display, prepared necessary rooms and its interior, afterward I map out the marketing strategies. Within the first year, the biro had already made breakeven point financially and in its second year has been gaining small profit. I also manage my wife’s working load since this is a private practice with her as the only psychologist, and therefore the main goal is not in the financial aspect, but to acquire greatest opportunity and experiences to develop her expertise. The blue print is to evolve from starting as an associate psychologist of another biro, and then progressing to start having own clients while also teaching at some universities, and move forward to also become speaker/trainer in various events. Today, in about one and a half year, my wife is already standing as a trainer for several parenting events. From those experiences, I recognized that running own business even though it is just a small scale one, will stimulate the spirit, arouse creativity, and exercise mentality especially when facing obstacles and challenging situation. Moreover, it trained me to manage time wisely and enriched me to carry out my role in the company as section head of corporate internal reporting. My tasks are to prepare reports for internal purpose such as those related with board of director and board of commissionaire, and to monitor the implementation of corporate long term plan through coordination with all divisions.
I joined the company in 2006 in Training Division with main task to manage training from making the modules, organizing the event, evaluating the training, and also working on administration matters. After one and a half year I was transferred to Research & Development division with responsibility to prepare corporate long term plan together with experts from all divisions. I stayed there for one year before repositioned to Trading Divisions where I learned about the role of sugar trading agency. Then finally after six months, I was promoted to corporate secretary as the section head. Among many things I learned along my career path, I considered having extensive network and good relationship with everybody as the most important key to success, especially because I am working at ****, a State Own Enterprise, who also administer public service obligation duties which need a lot of coordination with other government institutions.
****’s original responsibility was to provide affordable staple food for *country*n citizen, especially the poor one, and to stabilize its prices. Since 2003, its institutional status was changed from pure government institution into Perum which means that **** was not only administering public service obligation that are instructed and financed by the government, but also run the commercial aspects and have to gain profit to fund its costs because it is no longer entirely financed by the government. Along with *country*n economics was getting better, the number of poor people as ****’s customer was decreasing and therefore it impacted the company’s financial performance since our revenue is still dominated from this assignment. Responding the threat brings new policy direction to focus more on business aspect and since food commodities market is integrated globally in term that supply and demand could be met from any countries, the company wanted to become global player as well. In the past few years, **** only imported rice, but now we have started to import soy bean and meat, and in the future we maybe deal with more various commodities. Subsequently, in order to equip the employees’ capabilities to run global business, **** programmed some key employees to study abroad, including I myself.
This is a very valuable opportunity for me to learn business strategic on the global level especially about the behavior pattern and decision making process of international consumer. I believe that by knowing and understanding about human in business aspects, the company can choose the most effective strategies to implement to the consumer, supplier and other stockholder. My interest on business practice started when I studied consumer behavior in psychology faculty undergraduate, and continued when I started small business, and I hope I could learn much more in the postgraduate study.
This is my motivation in studying business, and I hope in the future I could contribute my knowledge and expertise to the company, and furthermore to my country since ****’s goal is to become reliable company in achieving sustainable nation food security.

Yours sincerely
AN