Motivation Letter

Question

Please give your comments! Thank very much in advance!

Dear Prof.
I am writing to express my great interest in applying for the PhD program in X subject at the X Institute in Sweden.
I graduated with a bachelor degree in Physics in 2008 from Department of Physics, Xinjiang University, China. My graduation project was about the “Discussion on the measurement of liquid viscosity”. Before graduating I also have obtained high school teacher certificate by self-studying. After graduation, I worked as a teacher at No1. High School of Baichengxian, China. My job’s responsibilities included being a director of one class and teaching three classes in physics, each class with around 50 students. Although I did a great job by increasing average academic result of all three classes by 30% at two semester`s exams and liked it so much, I quit my job after one year to pursue my dream. My dream is study abroad and work as a researcher or university teacher in my country. To solve economic problem to study abroad, I run a language training center 2009 summer; high school math- physics and chemistry were taught as well.

I have started my master program in Umea University 2011, and already have completed one 30hp thesis project with title “Measuring the efficiency and charge carrier mobility of organic solar cells”. In this work, I first produced a lot of samples such as single layer, normal bilayer, inverted bilayer and hetero-junction devices by using P3HT, PCBM and PEDOT:PSS etc. materials. Then, measured the efficiencies and charge carrier mobilities of these samples by making two different experimental set up with Digital Multimeter, Power source, Wave Function Generator and Oscilloscope, AFM was also used.

Currently, I am working on my second thesis project with title “Temperature effect on growth properties of C60 Nano rods/tubes”. I am, now, producing nano rods/tubes by using LLIP method. Soon, I will analyze the temperature effect on the morphology, growth rate and structure of nano rods/tubes with Raman spectroscopy, XRD, FFT, SEM, TEM and optical microscope.

I visited (http://www.liu.se/jobbdb/show.html?4967) and thus thoroughly visited the respective supervisor’s homepage information. Beside these, I tried to consume the noted research aims and objectives.
What attracts me to your group is the neck-breaking research and its application, high quality organic electronics research theme, well equipped laboratories with enthusiastic supervisors, optimum level of knowhow and research environment. I believe strongly that I will become pertinent person to conduct that work under the kind supervision of respected Advisors. In my studying I have been focusing on nano-materials as well as measurement technologies and would like to gain expertise with more other technics and materials during my PhD. So, I am really interested to become an independent Scientist with the working facilities and close supervision of the noted research group.

I realize the competitive demand on this program but I am fully confident that my ambition, hard work, ability to learn, scientific qualifications and experiences make me to meet your requirements to successfully complete the PhD degree in Organic Electronics. I strongly believe that this program will give me the opportunity to gain high level of research, extend my knowledge and significantly influence my future career to be very successful scientist at national and international level. Therefore, I will be honored and extremely happy to receive your admission letter.

With Best Wishes
Abdilim

Daylighttt · Accepted Answer

Dear Prof. …? I am writing this letter in order to express my great interest in applying for the PhD program in X subject at the X Institute in Sweden. I graduated with a bachelor degree in Physics in 2008 from Department of Physics, Xinjiang University, China. My graduation project was about the “Discussion on the measurement of liquid viscosity”. Before graduating, I also obtained a high school teacher certificate by self-study. After graduation, I worked as a teacher at No1. High School of Baichengxian, China. My job’s responsibilities included being a director(? I didn’t get this) of one class and teaching three classes in physics, each class with around 50 students. Although I did a great job by increasing average academic success of all three classes by 30% at the exams of two semesters and liked my job so much, I quit it one year later so as to pursue my dream. My dream is study abroad and work as a researcher or a university teacher (until here,it is okey and it is beter not to use that,” in my country”). To solve my economic problem, with the aim of studying abroad, I run a language training center in the summer of 2009; high school Math, Physics and Chemistry were taught, as well(by you? If so, … 2009. I taught ……………Chemistry, as well. I started my master program at the University of Umea in 2011, and have already completed one 30hp thesis project with the title “Measuring the efficiency and charge carrier mobility of organic solar cells”. In this study, I first produced a lot of samples such as single layer, normal bilayer, inverted bilayer and hetero-junction devices by using P3HT, PCBM and PEDOT:PSS etc. materials. Then, I measured the efficiencies and charge carrier mobilities of these samples by making two different experimental set up with Digital Multimeter, Power source, Wave Function Generator and Oscilloscope, AFM was also used. Currently, I am studying on my second thesis project with the title “Temperature effect on the growth properties of C60 Nano rods/tubes”. I am, now, producing nano rods/tubes by using LLIP method. I will soon analyze the effect of temperature on the morphology, growth rate and structure of nano rods/tubes with Raman spectroscopy, XRD, FFT, SEM, TEM and optical microscope. I visited (http://www.liu.se/jobbdb/show.html?4967 ) and thus thoroughly visited the respectable supervisor’s homepage information. Beside this, I tried to examine the noted research aims and the objectives in detail. What attracts me to your group is the neck-breaking research, its application, high quality organic electronics as a research theme, the well-equipped laboratories with some enthusiastic supervisors, a optimum level of knowhow(?) and research environment. I strongly believe that I will become a person having pertinent skills to conduct that work under the kind supervision of respectable advisors. In my study, I have been focusing on nano-materials as well as measurement technologies and would like to gain expertise in some more other technics and materials during my PhD. So, I am really interested to become an independent scientist with the working facilities and close supervision of the noted research group. I realize the competitive demand on this program but I am fully confident that my ambition, hard work, ability to learn, scientific qualifications and experiences make me meet your requirements to successfully complete the PhD degree in Organic Electronics. I strongly believe that this program will give me the opportunity of gaining a high level of research, extend\enhance my knowledge and significantly influence my future career to be a very successful scientist at national and international areas. Therefore, I will be honored and extremely happy when I receive your admission letter.
Best regards (is much better, I think)
The native speakers will do it much better but I try to correct some points and add some new things to make it better. To be honest, I sometimes have problems with using "the" I hope it helps.

Abdilim · Answer

Dear daylightinyou,
First of all, thank you very much for your comment and suggestion! Great help! Here is the corrections, please give your comment!

Dear Prof. …? I am writing (this letter in order ---this dose not really necessaryI think) to express my great interest in applying for the PhD program in X subject at the X Institute in Sweden. I graduated with a bachelor degree in Physics in 2008 from Department of Physics, Xinjiang University, China. My graduation project was about the “Discussion on the measurement of liquid viscosity”. Before graduating, I also have obtained a high school teacher certificate by self-study. After graduation, I worked as a teacher at No1. High School of Baichengxian, China. My responsibilities were teaching three classes in physics and being a director of one of the classes, each class with around 50 students. Although I did a great job by increasing average academic performance of all three classes by 30%, at the exams of two semesters, and liked my job so much, I quit it one year later so as to pursue my dream. My dream is study abroad and work as a researcher or a university teacher. To solve my economic problem, with the aim of studying abroad, I run a language training center in the summer of 2009; high school Math, Physics and Chemistry were taught, as well(There were also some other employees, so the passive voice form is better I think). I started my master program at the University of Umea in 2011, and have already completed one 30hp thesis project with the title of “Measuring the efficiency and charge carrier mobility of organic solar cells”. In this study, I first produced a lot of samples such as single layer, normal bilayer, inverted bilayer and hetero-junction devices by using P3HT, PCBM and PEDOT:PSS etc. materials. Then, I measured the efficiencies and charge carrier mobilities of these samples by making two different experimental set up with Digital Multimeter, Power source, Wave Function Generator and Oscilloscope, AFM was also used. Currently, I am studying on my second thesis project with the title “Temperature effect on the growth properties of C60 Nano rods/tubes”. I am, now, producing nano rods/tubes by using LLIP method. I will soon analyze the effect of temperature on the morphology, growth rate and structure of nano rods/tubes with Raman spectroscopy, XRD, FFT, SEM, TEM and optical microscope. I visited (http://www.liu.se/jobbdb/show.html?4967 ) and thus thoroughly visited the respective ( if it is respectable, the meaning will change) supervisor’s homepage information. Beside these, I tried to consume the noted research aims and objectives in detail. What attracts me to your group is the "neck-breaking" research and its application, the high quality organic electronics research theme, the well-equipped laboratories with some enthusiastic supervisors, a optimum level of knowhow research environment. I strongly believe that I will become a person having pertinent skills to conduct that work under the kind supervision of respected advisors. In my study, I have been focusing on nano-materials as well as measurement technologies and would like to gain expertise in more other technics and materials during my PhD. So, I am really interested to become an independent scientist with the working facilities and close supervision of the noted research group. I realize the competitive demand on this program but I am fully confident that my ambition, hard work, ability to learn, scientific qualifications and experiences make me meet your requirements to successfully complete the PhD degree in Organic Electronics. I strongly believe that this program will give me the opportunity to gain a high level of research, extend my knowledge and significantly influence my future career to be a very successful scientist at national and international level. Therefore, I will be honored and extremely happy if I receive your admission letter.
Best regards (I agree)
Your comment and suggestion have already improved the quolity of this paper, thank you very much! But never mind, if I have made some big mistakes by not accepting your some comments. I will appreciate it if you give some more comments!
Best Wishes
Abdlim

Daylighttt · Answer

Hi, Abdilim. Fine. However, I would expect that question first: Where are my intented paragraphs?:) How did they get lost? I don't know. Sorry for this. I replied to your post very late at night..You can regard that as my carelessness.
I am writing (this letter in order --- ok. It is your choice.
Before graduating, I also have obtained a high school teacher certificate by self-study. I insist on using the "obtained" You use many sentences in the simple past tense before and after that sentence, You say I graduated...... A sentence in the present perfect tense follows it with the structure of "before" I wonder presents results or effects of your having that certificate. I don't expect any answer. It is still your choice.
My responsibilities were teaching three classes in Physics
To tell the truth, if I were you, I wouldn't use beside this hese since I get used to using "Besides" I understand that you want to give some additional information. I haven't preferred " beside this\ beside these" up until now. I tried to stick to some of your expressions. Maybe that were the reason when I said "Beside this"
...a optimum level of knowhow research environment. Sorry for my carelessnes. an optimum....I have just realized that.
So, I am really interested to become an independent scientist ..... ; therefore, I am (much better and formal) I think I have never seen that usage of so. At the beginning of a sentence with a comma. or you can say ......, so (I would use it in that way)
.........if I receive your admission letter. , It is your choice but it would be okey with the "when," too.
I don't want to touch the" very much since I still feel myself inadequate. I have revised my knowledge of it, though.

Abdilim · Answer

Oh, yes, you right, I made some grammatical and structural mistakes. Many thanks for your kindness and patience.
You give me a big help. Thanks again!

Best Regards
Abdlim

Daylighttt · Answer

You are welcome, Abdilim.

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