Motivation letter

Question

i need someone to proofread my letter of motivation.anyone to help me?

ArchieWW · Accepted Answer

I will try to help.  Can you post it on here?

Shadi Peirovi · Answer

thank u very much ,here is my letter:

Letter of Motivation

To Application Office,
Groningen University, the Netherlands

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to Master program of English Literature at Groningen University scheduled to start in September 2013.
I am very interested in this postgraduate degree and I believe my strong academic background combined with my work experience may fulfill your requirements. I regard perusing a degree in literature because I know it will promote me both professionally and as a personality. By studying literature I have found that the sense of self-discovery is a common theme in most literary works and this is what still amazes me about literature, to start a journey whining your inner self, using your imagination to create a new world and new characters.
During my high school I started reading Classic Literature. Being interested in foreign languages and literature, by the time of my applying for undergraduate studies, it was clear that Foreign languages Department was my priority. I chose English Translation as my main major to improve my language proficiency then I attended all literature courses such as History of English Literature, Criticism, Literary Schools of Thoughts, English Poetry and prose.
In 2004, my friends and I established an NGO called Nasima in affiliation with National Youth Organization. I was elected as the leader of the Literary Group. During our weekly gathering for university students ,we studied many famous American and English novels and short stories and critically discussed the ideas about each selected book.This experience helped me to find out more about my interest in team working and extensive studies.

In 2006 I graduated from university in BA of English Translation with GPA: 3.25/4. According to Iranian grading system my GPA is 16.27 (out of 20).
After graduation I pursued a job in teaching English and I attended many Teaching Training Courses and workshops.
Since 2008 I have been working as an English teacher in many different outstanding Language Institutes in Iran and I am going to attend Oxford Teacher’s Academy in November 2012.
I firmly believe learning English is a necessity for the people of my country. My country has been ruled by dictators for many years and I believe through learning English my people can communicate to the rest of the world, they can be informed about international news. Learning an international language is what they need to be awakened and to stand for their rights in international organizations and communities.
So I’ll be delighted if I can be of any help in this regard by choosing teaching carrier. I want to study literature as my post graduate studies and to teach literature in future. I am very positive about the impressive changes that literary studies can bring about in people. Every book you read changes you even if slightly, and this is exactly what my people in IRAN need. Literature gives us the chance to broaden our horizons and perspectives.
I have chosen Groningen University, because it is one of the oldest universities in the Netherlands, and it is a member of the Excellence Group of the best universities in Europe. I really want to study in a safe modern place, where everybody has freedom of speech and you are free to read all genres and discuss the ideas with educated people and professors. Unfortunately in IRAN we do not have an access to read some topics such as homosexual literature, feminist and political literature. Actually you might be arrested if the government finds out you are searching or writing about one of these topics.
In conclusion I would like to say I am eager to gain new experiences and in my opinion this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the Groningen University would be an excellent start for me to take one more step in the mysterious world of Literature.

Sincerely yours
Shadi

ArchieWW · Answer

Hello Shadi - here is your motivation letter with my suggested changes (my wife also read through it and I have included her suggested changes). There is one phrase that neither of us can understand and that is "to start a journey whining your inner self". We do not know what you mean by this, so we were unable to suggest revised wording. If you need me to explain any of the suggested changes, do let me know. Good luck with your application! Archie

Letter of Motivation

To Application Office,
Groningen University, The Netherlands

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the Master program of English Literature at Groningen University scheduled to start in September 2013. I am very interested in this postgraduate degree course and I believe my strong academic background combined with my work experience may fulfill your requirements.

I wish to pursue a degree in literature because I know it will benefit me both professionally and personally. By studying literature I have found that a sense of self-discovery is a common theme in most literary works and this is what still amazes me about literature, to start a journey whining your inner self, using your imagination to create a new world and new characters.

While at high school I started reading Classic Literature. Being interested in foreign languages and literature, when the time came to apply for undergraduate studies, I had no hesitation in selecting the Foreign Languages Department as my preference. I decided to major in English Translation to improve my language proficiency, but I also attended all literature courses such as History of English Literature, Criticism, Literary Schools of Thoughts, English Poetry and prose.

In 2004, my friends and I established a Non-Governmental Organisation called Nasima in affiliation with National Youth Organization. I was elected as the leader of the Literary Group. During our weekly gathering for university students, we studied many famous American and English novels and short stories and critically discussed the ideas about each selected book. This experience helped me to develop an interest in team working and extensive studies. [research?]

In 2006 I graduated from university with a BA in English Translation with a GPA of 3.25/4. According to the Iranian grading system, my GPA is 16.27 (out of 20). After graduation I had a job teaching English and I attended many Teaching Training Courses and workshops. Since 2008 I have been working as an English teacher in many outstanding Language Institutes in Iran and I am going to attend Oxford Teachers Academy in November 2012.

I firmly believe that learning English is a necessity for the people of my country. Iran has been ruled by a dictator for many years and I believe that, through learning English, my people will be able to communicate with the rest of the world and so become informed about world news. Learning an international language is what they need to be awakened and to enable them to be represented in international organizations and at events.

For this reason, I will be delighted if I can in some small way contribute to this vision [or objective] by choosing a teaching career. I want to study literature for my post graduate studies and to teach English literature in the future. I am very encouraged by the impressive changes that literary studies can bring about in people. Every book you read changes you - even if only slightly - and this is exactly what my people in Iran need. Literature gives us the chance to broaden our horizons and perspectives.

I have chosen Groningen University because it is one of the oldest universities in the Netherlands and because it is a member of the Excellence Group of the best universities in Europe. I really want to study in a safe, modern place, where everybody has freedom of speech and you are free to read all genres and discuss your ideas with educated people and professors.. Unfortunately in Iran, we do not have access to some topics such as homosexual literature, feminist and political literature. In fact, you might be arrested if the government finds out that you are searching for or writing about one of these topics.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I am eager to gain new experiences and, in my opinion, this program is the best way to achieve that. I am certain that Groningen University would provide me with an excellent start on my journey into the intriguing world of Literature.

Shadi Peirovi · Answer

hello dear
thanks a lot for proofreading, and please say thanks to your wife too on behalf of me

that sentence that you mentioned contains spelling mistake, i wanted to write: "to start a journey within your inner self"

does it make any sense now?

ArchieWW · Answer

Hello Shadi - the phrase "to start a journey within your inner self" is grammatically correct, and you can use that phrase if you want to, but you may wish to consider the following alternative:

"and this is what still amazes me about literature - that as you read, you use your imagination to form a mental picture of the characters and their world."

Kind regards,

Archie

By the way, Shadi, it is better to address someone that you do not know well (such as me!) by his or her name (in my case, Archie). You should not use the term 'dear' unless it is a family member or someone you are very close to. But I am not offended!!

Shadi Peirovi · Answer

ok, Archie
thanks for the help any way.
best wishes

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