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Egwene2 Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

Motivation letter

Hi, could you please review my Motivation Letter I am writing as application for a phD study? It has to be in between 500-1000 words. I would appreciate it very much! Thank you.


Dear Sir/Madam

I am considering a future career in neuropharmacology and doing a PhD will build on the valuable experience I am acquiring here at the ** University.

My immediate plans for 2009, after finishing my M.Sc project in 2008, are to do the required year of Community Service to register as a Pharmacist at the ** Pharmacy Counsel. I was planning to consider all my options in 2009 while doing Comserve, but what I really wanted to look for is an opportunity to undertake a bigger challenge, like a PhD abroad. The opportunity just presented itself a bit early! A while ago Prof. ** (Ph.D), Director of Research Unit: Drug Research and Development/ Professor of Pharmaceutics, **, forwarded an email from ** to the Pharmacology Department, ** University. Prof. ** encouraged us to seriously consider the opportunity and she stated that “It sounds fantastic!”

The fact that the ** is bringing knowledge from all over the world together to encourage connections between foreign Universities, makes a PhD in Paris a very attractive, agreeable option indeed. The bonus is who wouldn’t love to study at an , rated under the top 30 Universities worldwide and to see ! Learning French will be hard, but luckily I am relatively good at languages and thanks to the French courses you present for foreign students I have peace of mind about it and even look forward to the challenge!

Neuropharmacology won my interest over in the last two years and I have a desire to extend my knowledge and experience in Neuroscience. Some of the project opportunities and involved teams at ** that caught my eye because they have common characteristics than my current study are: “Study of glutamatergic neurotransmission in the normal or pathological central nervous system of rodent and human”, “Developmental role of neurotransmitters”, “Neuropsychopharmacology and Neurodegenerative diseases”.

I am good with troubleshooting, I like to solve problems and I have had plenty of experience in it this year with the 2 methods I had to optimize for rat brain tissue. I am a dedicated student, enthusiastic about my work and can work overtime to achieve a goal. The inputs and guidance of other researchers are valuable to me and I support the contribution and numerous other assets of group work, but I can also function very well independently.

I know that I have the background and competence to succeed in the program and I am eager to apply what I have learned during my Masters in further studies. Please consider me as a candidate for PhD in 2010.

Yours Sincerely

**
  

Top answer

Although this letter (which is too long to review in full) is grammatically correct (with some awkward wording) I would change the tone. In the opening sentence I would use a much stronger word than "considering": it makes you sound like you're not serious about your career. "Planning" would be a better choice.

  • Although this letter (which is too long to review in full) is grammatically correct (with some awkward wording) I would change the tone.
  • In the opening sentence I would use a much stronger word than "considering": it makes you sound like you're not serious about your career.
  • "Planning" would be a better choice.
  • My revision would be I am planning a career in neuropharmacology and want to enter your PhD program to build on the work I have done here at ** University.
  • The exclamation points in the letter should all be eliminated.
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3 Answers
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Although this letter (which is too long to review in full) is grammatically correct (with some awkward wording) I would change the tone. In the opening sentence I would use a much stronger word than "considering": it makes you sound like you're not serious about your career. "Planning" would be a better choice. My revision would be

I am planning a career in neuropharmacology and want to
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Thank you ferpectedit!

I'm definitely going to follow your perfect edit recommendations!

Egwene2

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