Motivation letter???:)

Question

Hi everybody! I am Ina and I am totally fresh in this forum! Well, I need some help and I will be happy to receive Your comments!
I have to write a motivation letter- and this is just the main idea: I have been studying for two years in Germany, the subject of Biology. In the end of my 5-th semester I have to be accepted in a labore, where I have to join a project for the period of three months and as a result- to write my Bachelor thesys. I have really no idea how to structure my letter, but I think it has to be something like this:
Dear Mrs/Mr,

I am very enthusiastic about the opportunity to apply in Your laboratory as a practicant and to have the chanec to join Your team.

As part of my training, I am required to carry out a practical course in a laboratory for the period of at least three months. To be one of Your working group would greatly assist me in receiving my Bachelor degree and would provide me with invaluable experience- so srtrongly required for a young specialist.

During my five semesters of study I have acquired a good knowledge of human and cell biology, microbiology and physiology, as well as biochemistry and molecular genetics. During my training I have obtained basic practical experience as a scientist as well as a team worker!

I am motivated and curious person, easily adaptive and enjoying challenges.
I hope You will help me cover this step of my education and personal experience.

I look forward to hearing from You soon!

Sincerely,
Yanakieva

Enclosure: ....

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Dear Ms/Mr [find his or her name…also if it is a “she” use Ms. unless she prefers Mrs.]

1]

I am exciting to be applying for an internship to laboratory and joining your team. [there is no English word “practicant”, I think you meant “intern”].

As part of my training, I am required to complete a practical course in a laboratory for least three months. I would great appreciate the opportunity to be a member of your working group. That would complete my practical experience requirement and more importantly would provide me with invaluable experience and contacts, both of which are highly valued.

During my five semesters of study I have acquired a strong [or superior] knowledge of human and cell biology, microbiology and physiology as well as biochemistry and molecular genetics. During my training I have obtained basic practical experience as a scientist as well as a team worker. [no exclamation marks] [2]

I am motivated and curious person who can easily adapt to any situation. I thrive on overcoming challenges. My coworkers know me to be a very effective and helpful team player. I enjoy learning from others and helping others where I can. I am excited by the opportunity to join a group of professional where I can apply my skills, talents, and enthusiasm.

I will call you in two weeks to arrange an interview. I look forward to meeting you.[3]

Sincerely,
Yanakieva

Watch your spelling and capitalizations. No exclamation marks, smiley faces, or anything else.

I have made some changes and put in some words for you. See if my words capture your intent.

I love your enthusiasm and passion. If I am hiring someone, I want to see that they have a passion for their chosen career. I want to know that they are excited by what they are doing. Your letter has that. I think that’s great.

1) In North America, we place a colon after the name. Dear Mr. Jones: , but the European practice might be/is different. Nona the brit and I have had discussions on this topic. So you need to check to see how the formatting is handled in your location. If you were in North America, you’d use a colon.
2) I think you can delete the last sentence in this paragraph as we capture the team player stuff in the next paragraph. Part of me wants you expand your background more. Tell them more about you. But other part of me says no, because you just want to get their attention so that you can get an interview with them. You can think about it.
3) You definitely want to contact them. You have all this enthusiasm, excitement, and initiative. Now follow it up with a real live example. Show them that you are willing to pick up the ball and run with it.

I like your letter. It’s short, to the point, focused, and shows lots of enthusiasm. Now you just got follow that up.

MountainHiker

Anonymous · Answer

Hallo, may I ask you to delete the family name in this post.

Thank you,
Ina

Motivation letter???:)

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