Modern Art

Modern Art
by Mike Marcoe


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***&&***##HELPPPPPP! I CANNOT SIMPLIFY!
WHERE AM I GOING?@^&HJHJJSLTIJJ(((( 837957626
MEANING ESCAPES ME! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
&^BVF%$++/WHAT IS THE POINT ANYMORE? I CAN'T
TAKE IT!@()#@&89
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"Interesting, isn't it, Professor Cueliss?" said the critic Burnhart, glancing
at the neatly framed words on the wall. "So damning, aren't
they?" He took another puff from his fine English pipe.

"So damning of a whole culture in unstoppable decline, I would
say. Perhaps the message could have been more comprehensible
if he had used bolder color," Cueliss answered, glaring at the symbols
through her post-modernist mascara. "Note the frame. A very simple
one, black with a dash of white. What could he have meant by it?"

"He was a mysterious artist. Even the experts have trouble deciphering
his work."

"Note the asterisks. Professor Claremont of the Modern Art Interpretation Institute
claimed that the presence of at least six asterisks in a row was indicative
of a marriage between 1970's post-impressionism and mid-19th century
modernism. I, for one, think he was too influenced by the neo-Picasso
movement." Cueliss clicked her heels, sending a faint echo through the
marble rooms of the Museum of Twentieth Century Art.

"Look at the double spacing between the parentheses and the numbers.
I believe they indicate a strong emphasis on the role of reflection in the
modernist mindset."

"Perhaps. Claremont's latest theory is that the double spacing is this
artist's saving grace."

"Whatever happened to him, anyway?"

"He disappeared. Rumor has it that he escaped to a third world
culture. He does fingerpainting and mud sculpture."

Burnhart drew a hit from his pipe. "It's a shame," he said. "This piece
is expected to sell for at least a million at next month's auction. And
he won't be around to see it."

"The artist would have been proud."

"We can only hope," said Burnhart. "We can only hope."