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Pieter Posted 23 years ago
Memories
When we were breathing with bated breath,
When we were sweeping up all around the yard, the mess,
Being put out I stroke silently the stairs,
We tasted the currant that grew over the fence,
When we painted heart-shaped rabbits on eggs,
When our life became a lifeless dance,
When your patience hurt so much,
We were bored together in a silent touch,
When we were breathing with bated breath,
Eating from the trunk near the restaurant I guess,
When your love went on a holiday in Crete,
In the car, Simply Red, feeling every beat,
When your head started aching of all these complete
Nonsense. When we got lost near that block of glass .
When we were breathing with bated breath.
Memories
Memories
When we were breathing with bated breath,
When we were sweeping up all around the yard, the mess,
Being put out I stroke silently the stairs,
We tasted the currant that grew over the fence,
When we painted heart-shaped rabbits on eggs,
When our life became a lifeless dance,
When your patience hurt so much,
We were bored together in a silent touch,
When we were breathing with bated breath,
Eating from the trunk near the restaurant I guess,
When your love went on a holiday in Crete,
In the car, Simply Red, feeling every beat,
When your head started aching of all these complete
Nonsense. When we got lost near that block of glass .
When we were breathing with bated breath.
Top answer
First part good but it fizzes out with the part that says 'When your love went on a holiday in Crete, In the car, Simply Red, feeling every beat'
- First part good but it fizzes out with the part that says 'When your love went on a holiday in Crete, In the car, Simply Red, feeling every beat'
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2 Answers
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First part good but it fizzes out with the part that says 'When your love went on a holiday in Crete, In the car, Simply Red, feeling every beat'
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You're right. The line with the Simply Red is forced. I 've just found an American poetesse to translate my poems from MY English into REAL English.
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