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Moguwai007 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

member card

Could you please check if the following expression sounds natural?
I have a feeling that the word “you” is used too many times.

Our member cards are available upon request at front desk.
You will receive one stamp for every USD 20 of your stay at our hotel.
Once you have collected 10 stamps, you will receive discount of USD 20 off your next visit.
  

Top answer

Our member cards (Membership cards) are available upon request at front desk. You will receive one stamp for every USD 20 you spend during your stay at our hotel. Once you have collected 10 stamps, you will receive a discount of USD 20 off your next visit.

  • Our member cards (Membership cards) are available upon request at front desk.
  • You will receive one stamp for every USD 20 you spend during your stay at our hotel.
  • Once you have collected 10 stamps, you will receive a discount of USD 20 off your next visit.
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2 Answers
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Our member cards (Membership cards) are available upon request at front desk.
You will receive one stamp for every USD 20 you spend during your stay at our hotel.
Once you have collected 10 stamps, you will receive a discount of USD 20 off your next visit.
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People who stay at a hotel are usually referred to as guests, not members.

Clive

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