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Sailsofoblivion Posted 11 years ago
Vocabulary
Meaning / Link
Hi, I just noticed that a certain sentence didn't quite link up with the meaning in the previous paragraph, and realistically, walking away from the band wasn't going to happen. Do these paragraphs therefore read better if the sections in red are removed? As I do say "I had no choice", therefore, it doesn't quite work if I imply a choice was available.
The band met each Thursday at lunchtime, and (despite my assumption that it would be similar to the orchestra) it proved to be a novice’s worst nightmare. Why? I was the only member of the brass section. In an instant, I knew that I would either have to leave, or be forced to play in a group of talented musicians who all had better instruments than me. Before we had even begun, Mr Pash looked at me and uttered the following words (unlike Mr Evans, he wanted every section of the band to play perfectly):
“I want you to play the brass part on the first two pages; it’s mostly minor scales.”
I died internally when he said this, even though it was (luckily) a simple piece of music, as I had to play it alone in front of people who were on track to become professional musicians with a dilapidated French horn. I reluctantly pursed my lips, placed them on my mouthpiece and played. It wasn’t my best performance, but I had no choice. The shame of leaving the band for no apparent reason would have been greater than that of playing nothing at all.
The band met each Thursday at lunchtime, and (despite my assumption that it would be similar to the orchestra) it proved to be a novice’s worst nightmare. Why? I was the only member of the brass section. In an instant, I knew that I would either have to leave, or be forced to play in a group of talented musicians who all had better instruments than me. Before we had even begun, Mr Pash looked at me and uttered the following words (unlike Mr Evans, he wanted every section of the band to play perfectly):
“I want you to play the brass part on the first two pages; it’s mostly minor scales.”
I died internally when he said this, even though it was (luckily) a simple piece of music, as I had to play it alone in front of people who were on track to become professional musicians with a dilapidated French horn. I reluctantly pursed my lips, placed them on my mouthpiece and played. It wasn’t my best performance, but I had no choice. The shame of leaving the band for no apparent reason would have been greater than that of playing nothing at all.
Top answer
I agree that there is a contradiction between “walking away from the band wasn’t going to happen” and “either have to leave, or”. It isn’t clear to me whether you intend to include the first comment somewhere. If it isn’t really an option, then omit the first (red) text.
- I agree that there is a contradiction between “walking away from the band wasn’t going to happen” and “either have to leave, or”.
- It isn’t clear to me whether you intend to include the first comment somewhere.
- If it isn’t really an option, then omit the first (red) text.
- In the second instance, “but I had no choice” would not be very meaningful by itself.
- I think “shame” is rather a strong feeling to express if it wasn’t a public performance.
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1 Answers
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I agree that there is a contradiction between “walking away from the band wasn’t going to happen” and “either have to leave, or”. It isn’t clear to me whether you intend to include the first comment somewhere. If it isn’t really an option, then omit the first (red) text. In the second instance, “but I had no choice” would not be very meaningful by itself. I think “shame” is rather a strong fee
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