May someone check for me about grammar and vocab and rate mark ielts? thanks so much

The pie charts illustrate the primary reasons that people came to and left the UK in 2007. At first glance
it is clear that the main factor influencing this decision was employment.
Having a definite job accounted for 30 percent of immigration to the UK, and this figure was very similar
for emigration, at 29%. A large number of people, 22%, also emigrated because they were looking for a
job, though the proportion of people entering the UK for this purpose was noticeably lower at less than a
fifth.
Another major factor influencing a move to the UK was for formal study, with over a quarter of people
immigrating for this reason. However, interestingly, only a small minority, 4%, left for this.
The proportions of those moving to join a family member were quite similar for immigration and
emigration, at 15% and 13% respectively. Although a significant number of people (32%) gave ‘other’
reasons or did not give a reason why they emigrated, this accounted for only 17% with regards to
immigration.