There are 2 body paragraphs in my essay. It's really bad because I don't know where I'm wrong. Please help me to correct. Thank you guys so much!!
[PARTLY AGREE]
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people might argue that there should be more vocationally-trained workers than scholastic pursuers. Firstly, electricians and plumbers play an irreplaceable role in any workplace. It is due to to the fact that they get the job-related training for ensuring the safety of public buildings. There are many situations in reality in which an emergency callout for skilled tradesmen is needed, for example, mechanical failures in hospital wards or operating theatres, errors in an elevator system, lack of water in sanitation. Secondly, in contrast to the limited demand for intellectual and academically equipped workforce, qualified and skilled workers are required in all countries. Blue-collar jobs assume the responsibility of product manufacturing, mass transportation and many aspects of the market which contribute to manipulating the international economy.
On the other hand, I also argue that academic study holds the key to create generations of intellectual personnel. The most obvious proof is that knowledge-intensive courses provide people with comprehensive visions and overarching understanding of various fields. This type of training would empower students to have better job opportunities and become erudite experts who are dispensable to take high-ranking management positions. For instance, Marie Curie's startling discovery of radioactivity was attributed to several years in physics and mathematics at the Sorbonne University. If people did drop out of university education, there would be a lack of researchers and specialists who provide data-driven recommendations for improving national policies.
Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body. Subject: Please review my IELTS essay Message Body: Topic: Many people go to university for academic study.
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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.
Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message Body:
Topic: Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agre
thusangThere are 2 body paragraphs in my essay. It's really bad because I don't know where I'm wrong.
Please post the entire essay, not just part of it.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people might argue that there should be more vocationally-trained workers than scholastic pursuers