Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

Question

In this integrating world, the development in tourism has facilitated people
with various choices in terms of travelling destinations. In particular, there has
been an increasing trend of travelling abroad, which gains controversial
opinions. From my point of view, I believe that there are several reasons for this
growing trend and the problems seem to outweigh the benefits.
Admittedly, there are certain resonales for people choosing to visit foreign
nations. It is obvious that this can be an opportunity for them to open their
horizons and gain a wealth of experience. As di?erent countries have di?erent
cultures, traditions and the like, when tourists go outside the border, they can
get access to many diverse ways of living as well as widen their knowledge
about the world. Moreover, this can also be a chance for people to get away
from the hustle or bustle lifestyles in the city and they can enjoy themselves in
a whole di?erent world. By traveling to a strange place, people can experience
di?erent feelings, new beauty that they have never seen and live their lives to
the fullest.
However, I believe that there are glaring detriments when people just spend
time and money on going to foreign countries. The first thing to notice is that
when people just keep going out, they can not contribute to the economic
growth of their mother nation through tourism's revenues. For example, by
flying to France and having a guided tour there, people of other countries
have brought their money to France's national budget, without fostering
anything to their homeland. That can be the prerequisite for the future's
economic recession in general and the slowing down of tourism in the country
in particular, Another thing worth considering is that when people travel to
other countries too much, they may soon blend in that culture and may decide
to stay in that county. If all the gifted men or scientists gather in one country,
the gap between the developing and developed nations will be much wider
and the conflicts, together with misunderstandings can also become more
serious.
In conclusion, while making cross-border trips can, to some extent, bring a
myriad of benefits, I am convinced that this development will pose more
disadvantages including the loss of revenues, the mitigation in economy and
the gap between nations.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post. Click on this link:

Next, tap on the green button "write a new post"

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my essay

Message body:
Topic:

To evaluate your essay, we need the complete instructions. They will not fit in the subject line. Add a comment or reply with all the instructions included.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
---------------------

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote nearly 390 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write 270 - 290 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

The formatting of your text is very strange. The copy-and-paste did not work for the textbox, which requires unformatted, plain text.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Many students think that if they use high-level sophisticated vocabulary words, they will get a higher band score.

This is a false impression. One of the four scoring criteria for Task 2 is "Lexical Resource." A student with a high level of lexical resource not only knows many words, but they know how to use them. Here are the descriptors for bands 5, 6 and band 7.

Band score 7:

• uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
• uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
• may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

Band score 6:

• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication

Band score 5:

• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
• may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader

AlpheccaStars · Answer

In this integrating (unnatural) world, the development in tourism has facilitated (wrong usage) people
with various choices in terms of travelling (unnatural) destinations. In particular, there has
been an increasing trend of travelling abroad, which gains controversial
opinions. (unnatural - there is actually no controversy. ) ~~From my point of view~~, ("believe" is a point of view; this phrase is redundant.) I believe that there are several reasons for this
growing trend and the problems seem to outweigh the benefits. (Incorrect essay type. You are writing an "advantages/disadvantages" type of essay when the task is an opinion essay. The prompt is: Is this a positive or negative development.)

Admittedly, there are certain resonales for people choosing to visit foreign
nations. It is obvious that this can be an opportunity for them to open their
horizons (wrong expression) and gain a wealth of experience. As di?erent countries have di?erent
cultures, traditions and the like, when tourists go outside the border, they can
get access to many diverse ways of living as well as widen their knowledge
about the world. Moreover, this can also be a chance for people to get away
from the hustle or bustle ~~lifestyles in~~ of the city and they can enjoy themselves in
a whole di?erent world. By traveling to a strange place, people can experience
di?erent feelings, (missing conjunction) new beauty that they have never seen and live their lives to
the fullest.
However, I believe that there are glaring problems ~~detriments~~ (unnatural) when people ~~just~~ spend
time and money on going to foreign countries. The first thing to notice is that
when people just keep going abroad ~~out~~, they do ~~can~~ not contribute to the economic
growth of their own country. ~~mother~~ ~~nation~~ ~~through tourism's revenues~~. For example, by
flying to France and having a guided tour there, people ~~of other countries~~
have benefited the French travel industry ~~brought their money to France's national budget~~, without ~~fostering~~
anything for to their homeland. That can be the ~~prerequisite for the future's~~
contributing cause to a future economic recession in general and the slowing down of tourism in the country
in particular, Another thing worth considering is that when people travel to
other countries too much, they may soon become enamored of ~~blend in~~ that culture and may decide
to stay in that county. If all the gifted men or scientists gather in one country, (This seems off-topic. Not all tourists are scientists or gifted men. Are you implying that all these smart people from all over the world will settle in France?)
the wealth gap between the developing and developed nations will be much wider
and the conflicts, together with misunderstandings can also become more
serious.
In conclusion, while making cross-border trips can, to some extent, bring a
~~myriad of~~ number of benefits, I am convinced that this development will pose more
disadvantages including the loss of revenue, ~~revenues~~, the mitigation (wrong word) in economy and
the gap between nations.

Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions