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Ocsenttdd Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Machine, should we use it too much?

Dear teachers! Pls correct the mistakes in my pharagrahp. Thnks a lot!

Nowaday, when technology has been developing day by day, it's also a time for us to ultise machine to much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: in stead of sweeping house, washing clothes, driving cars... we could do it all by ourself. Even it helps us to save time and we are able to enjoy our lifetime and do another things. But in my opinon, we should not let machine do it at all. It is a way for us to pratice or do exercise. Practically, as the time I am cleaning my house I feel very energetic and active. Another example is riding bicycle to school, we might not spend money for oil and release smoke into the enviroment. Of couse, this circumstance is just apply for those who has their home nearby. In conclusion, I do not like the way people today use machine, especially in urban area. Hope that someday everyone uses their mussle more.

P/s: pls give the comment to my writting. I mean the way I use sentence, is there some wrong with it? What should I do to improve my writting skill.
  

Top answer

You have many small problems with grammar and structure, so you can start by trying to fix the problem areas I have underlined. Many of them are careless mistakes: Nowaday , when technology has been developing day by day , it's also a time for us to ultise machine to much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: in stead of sweeping house , washing clothe s, d riving cars ...

— Mister Micawber

  • You have many small problems with grammar and structure, so you can start by trying to fix the problem areas I have underlined.
  • Many of them are careless mistakes: Nowaday , when technology has been developing day by day , it's also a time for us to ultise machine to much.
  • A lot of people get lazy, for instance: in stead of sweeping house , washing clothe s, d riving cars ...
  • we could do it all by ourself .
  • Even it helps us to save time and we are able to enjoy our lifetime and do another things.
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5 Answers
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You have many small problems with grammar and structure, so you can start by trying to fix the problem areas I have underlined. Many of them are careless mistakes:

Nowaday, when technology has been developing day by day, it's also a time for us to ultise machine to much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: in stead of sweepin
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Dear Mr Micawber, I've tried my best to edit my sentences again. Please take a look at it again, some of them I don't know how to fix, sorry for my poor English.

Nowaday, when technology has been developing day by day, it's also a time for us to utilize machines too much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: instead of sweeping houses, washing clothes or dri
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Start by using your dictionary on the first underlined word.
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Sorry for my careless in writing, next time I'll withdraw the experiment by using dictionary before posting something.
Once again, please take a look in my paragraph. Thank you.


Nowadays, when technology has been developing day by day, it's also a time for us to utilize machines too much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: instead of sweeping houses, was
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Nowadays, technology has been developing rapidly, and we utilize machines too much. A lot of people get lazy, for instance: instead of cleaning their homes, washing clothes or driving cars, etc., we could do it all by ourselves, even though it helps us to save time and we are able to enjoy our life and do other things. But in my opinion, we should not let
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