So I am writing a song in English and I am not sure about some of the lines. Especially i have doubts about the sentence: "something's burning me..." and "won't be enough air to make me breath" Could someone check it? Thank you very much.
If you don't mind I'll tell you what love is: it's something even bigger than the sky and the seas,
it's how you made me escape from my misery; the secret of my strengh if you stay with me...
You can make me see things that don't exist more than in my dreams. If you leave me now there won't be enough air to make me breath
Days are nights I've lost my mind and the stars have changed to blue.. So don't tell me again "everything's gonna be all right" I'd give my life but the more I try the more I'm loosing you... There must be a way to sew my broken heart...
... with a little more of you.
I was falling in the dark when I saw your face and your eyes became my home your arms are my bed.
Why do you say it's over? if I gave you all you kept my world so calm.. now its out of control!.
When it's hard to sleep something's burning me... it's you under my skin. With the sweetest kiss and the hardest words you broke my heart in two, you left me alone... all alone!.. nooo
Ohhh I can't give up our love is meant to last. Come break me down yeah break me down and I will love you more.
Top answer
Hello, Diego-- and welcome to EnglishForward. Very good! I can suggest only a few changes: the secret of my strength if you stay with me...
— Mister Micawber
Hello, Diego-- and welcome to EnglishForward.
Very good!
I can suggest only a few changes: the secret of my strength if you stay with me...
there won't be enough air to let me breathe but the more I try the more I'm losing you...
There must be a way to mend my broken heart...
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Thank you very much!! I am lucky because the changes you suggested doesn't affect to the rhyme of the lines. I was specially worried about the sentence:
"When it's hard to sleep something's burning me... it's you under my skin."