Lord Of The Flies, Alternate Ending.

0Hi, i have to write an alternate ending to Lord Of The Flies for school. Please review my piece, constructive critique please. 02br
02br
01b01u00Chapter 13: The end of Innocence02u02b02br
02br
01b02b02br
02br
00The assortment of savages approached, with spears in their hands and beasts in their hearts. Ralph realised the obvious, his life was lingering.02br
02br
02br
02br
00“There he is, after him troops” said Jack as he watched Ralph runaway into the granular waterfront. Ralph realising he had no where to go, he surrendered himself to Jack. “Trapped like a pig, take it to the base, we have something special planned.” The savages marched towards Ralph like wolves, grabbing him firmly by the arms, depriving his hands of blood. 02br
02br
02br
02br
00As they approached the entrance he looked down at the place piggy had been murdered, his heart skipped a beat as he thought of what might happen to him. Castle Rock, a cold dark place with a strange, inexplicable erry quality, the stone walls where covered with the carving of primitive beasts and ritualistic symbols. He was tied down unshakably, his feet and arms bound to an obese log. 02br
02br
02br
02br
00“Jack! Jack! You savage I’m talking to you” Ralph barked at Jack, unfazed by his rude tone of voice Jack turned his head, ignoring Ralph, “I demand to know where Samneric are, immediately!” Moments later Roger appeared from the forest and spoke to Jack inaudibly, Jack nodded. “Troops prepare for the ceremony at once!” Ordered Jack. It took six big un’s to lift the obese log, they hurled him into the dead forest where they had something special planned for him. He fell to the ground with a deafening thud, he saw Eric run towards him, cut his rope, he turned around to find the big un’s that had been carrying him lying on the floor, motionless, speechless, possibly dead. Ralph turned to Eric who quickly took him into a hideout he had found. The air was humid and he could smell the stench of decay and smoke. “Eric! Its really you, how did you get here?” questioned Ralph. “I managed to escape when they all went to look for you.” Eric said with tears in his eyes, “Where is Sam?” said Ralph knowing that something was dreadfully wrong. “They...killed him Ralph, I-“He couldn’t speak as the tears welled up inside of him” What? This can’t be!” he felt the anger rage inside of him as if the beast had consumed this soul. “Quick, I hear the savages coming, run!” they quickly ran outward towards the scar, “we can hide behind the plane, hurry!” Ralph instructed, with a sense of chiefdom.02br
02br
02br
02br
00As the dawn drew closer, Ralph passed out of exhaustion, Eric lying next to him ominously. Ralph awoke to the petrifying sight of Eric lying next to him, with blood gushing from his body and a stab wound in his neck. In the sand next to Eric there was the words “Sorry, I couldn’t bare it anymore.” Ralph had realised that Eric had taken his own life, and left him alone in the world. He wasn’t as aghast as before, the last few days on the island had desensitized him, and he was silent. The only people left on the island was Jack and him. He pulled the knife out from Eric’s neck, blood gushing, he had to finish this, he had to face his foe.02br
02br
02br
02br
00On arrival to Castle Rock he took no notice of his surroundings as before, he had his gaze fixed on revenge, the beast had taken his friends and his heart. “Jack! You maggot-“He stopped as he found Jack lying breathlessly on the floor, bleeding from his eyes. “The...Beast! I’m sorry” murmured Jack as his eyes closed forever. He beast had consumed everything on the island.02br
02br
02br
02br
00He edged near the end of the cliff, having no hope of rescue or survival, he flung himself to the very end.02br
02br
02br
02br
00Thanks alot guys 050010id1