Looking and calling out for

Question

Jenna pushed through the crowd while looking and calling out for her daughter.

(Jenna can't find her daughter)

1) Is "calling out" correct? Would "calling" be better?

2) Is the construction "while looking and calling out for her daughter." okay if she's both looking for and calling out for her daughter?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

anonymous1) Is "calling out" correct? Would "calling" be better?

"Out" is better. It sounds more immediate.

anonymous2) Is the construction "while looking and calling out for her daughter." okay if she's both looking for and calling out for her daughter?

It is grammatically fine, but it is clumsy. It could be better from a story-telling standpoint, and there is possible ambiguity—was she "looking for" her daughter or "looking out for" her daughter? "Looking for" is the natural reading, but still. And the reader gets to "looking" and thinks you're done with that part and has to go back and pick it up again when he sees "for". Also, "while" sounds a bit matter-of-fact for the context. You are saying she is doing the three things at the same time, which fact is hard for the reader to care about. I would recommend at least dropping "while": "Jenna pushed through the crowd, looking for her daughter, calling out for her."

Looking and calling out for

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