live by and abide by a standard

Are these interchangeable?
Are the sentences sound? Which words would you choose?

We were brought up in the same country. We abide live by the same social standards/convention. You have more in common with me than someone who was raised in a different country. There is too big cultural gap between you two.

Can you say 'governed by different social standards/convention'?

They are governed by different social standards/convention.

It is convention that you offer an elder man to be first at anything like standing in line, having your seat.
It is convention that you dress in black for a funeral.

Is this correct?
We live/abide by a code of conduct.

Thanks