0
Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Little story "Two men"

0 Hi! Here we go.02br
02br
00Two men.02br
02br
00He opened the door. Passed through a doorway and looked around. About what did he think in that moment? Hmm, I do not know. May be, he just thought about his businesses, about that strange tall man in the full bus, who had not made excuse. May be, he thought about nothing. Can man not to think? At all? Flour on the little bout in the big flood river. Until, Niagara Fall meets him and sings to him in high voice. Hello! Hello! Is it me you looking for? 02br
02br
00 He sighted slowly, looking around. It was a small room with dark-dark walls and big-big table was there. And on the table there was one million bucks. No, no, no! There was no bucks. But he wanted them to be there. He really wanted. Each cell of his body really wanted, especially brains ones. So they began think. Did they think before? Before poor body came in the room? I don’t know, the story does not tell us about it. 02br
02br
00Suddenly, the second man came in the dark-dark room. Who was he? Well, I don’t know. He was just a man, ordinary man like the first one. Their eyes met. Then they look at each other for several minutes. Still, there was no money on the table. First man had already known, but second had not. So he looked at the table and what did he see there? Absolutely nothing. He sighted slowly. What did he feel in that moment? I don’t know. May be he wanted to find on the table one million bucks? No, happiness. But isn’t it the same thinks? No, not the same things. Ok, but equal? May be. 02br
02br
00The first man’s mind visited an idea that there was no money and would never be. The second man understood everything: no happiness in this room. He became angry, draw out an old very rare gun and shoot the first man. During that time first man draw out identical gun and fired back. Both man were killed. On the second day one newspaper announced, that two men were killed by sweet twin and police try to find out him and her. 0-
  

Top answer

0Hello, I've made a few corrections for you. ' Is this a translation of a chinese idiom? It makes no sense at all to me) or just need completely rewriting rather than just a small correction.

  • 0Hello, I've made a few corrections for you.
  • ' Is this a translation of a chinese idiom?
  • It makes no sense at all to me) or just need completely rewriting rather than just a small correction.
  • Repetition 'dark-dark' or 'big-big' is not used to create an impression of extreme dark or size.
  • 02br 02br 00He opened the door, passed through the doorway and looked around.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

1 Answers
0
0Hello, I've made a few corrections for you. the highlighted areas also need re-writing - they either do not make sense at all in English (especially the section 'flour..for?' Is this a translation of a chinese idiom? It makes no sense at all to me) or just need completely rewriting rather than just a small correction. Maybe is one word.Repetition 'dark-dark' or 'big-big' is not used to create a

Related Questions