Listing comma and conjunctions usage.

Are their any rules when describing something in a list form: emotions, descriptions ect.

Both of these have lists but the first example doesn't flow as well as the second,paticularly the first examples phrase 'what a fab parents evening' which feels like an interjection, but it's clearly a listing of feelings that could go together but don't look right as written.

1) This child has done amazing at school once again, what a fab parents evening, straight A’s and only a few points away from being above average for her age!

2) It’s not easy to be a leader – but the rewards are exceptional, the challenge is incredible and there’s no single bigger adventure in life.

There is a structural parallelism in this example and it looks clearer and more accurate but is this usage a grammatical rule or is the first example just as exceptable.

And in these examples the first isn't clear as to who is biting the pen but the second example is.

The officer interrogated the suspect,looked at him with a fixed stare, and he kept biting his pen.

The officer interrogated the suspect, fixed expression, and bit his pen.

Eitherway they are still lists of events or actions and they don't all work.