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Fr3y4 Posted 20 years ago
Grammar

Life is like a box of chocolates

Hello! Can anyone please help me with this essay? Just a quick sight into the most obvious mistakes. The problem is that my teacher gives us a fail if we have 3 grammar mistakes and I would really need a little help. Thank you!
Freya


Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you are going to get

Life is very unpredictable and can be compared with the box of chocolates. The box contains many chocolates with various filling such as nugat, fruit, marzipan or even alcoholic filling. We never know what taste will the chosen chocolate have. It can happen that we will pick the one with the filling we do not like. Or maybe we will get lucky and will choose the one we love. These chocolates are like the things we get in a life.

We have to decide what paths we will take in our personal and professional life and every decision takes us to a different destination, which can suits us or not. No matter how hard a person wants with education and planning pave the way for a good life, nothing will ensure him or her that the future will be like he or she imagines it. For example, when we choose our way of studies no one actually guarantees us that we will get a job we are educating for. We can whether end up as the best paid expert on our area or as someone who is unemployed and is grabbing every odd job just to earn a living.

Not even the best fortune teller can assure us what the future will bring us. But at the end, it is up to us whether we will make out the most of what the life has brought us. Even if we do not live our perfect lives we can try and be satisfied with the things we have.
  

Top answer

Hi Freya, Welcome to the Forum. I've marked some things for you to look at. A few are just articles, or singular/plural.

  • Hi Freya, Welcome to the Forum.
  • I've marked some things for you to look at.
  • A few are just articles, or singular/plural.
  • Best wishes, Clive Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you are going to get Life is very unpredictable and can be compared with the box of chocolates.
  • The box contains many chocolates with various filling such as nugat, fruit, marzipan or even alcoholic filling .
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7 Answers
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Hi Freya,

Welcome to the Forum.

I've marked some things for you to look at. A few are just articles, or singular/plural.

Best wishes, Clive

Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you are going to get
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Fr3y4Life is very unpredictable and can be compared with the box of chocolates

I would prefer 'to' to 'with' in this context.
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Clive, I think there are quite a few grammatical mistakes in the article, right?
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Hi,

Yes, Freya needs to give it a bit more work.

Freya, if you want to make some corrections and post it again, I'd be happy to have another look at it.

Best wishes, Clive
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Thank you for you help... I've made some corrections. Are there any clumsy sentences in it? What do you think of this essay in general? I mean about the coherence. Because this is my second essay on this title. I got F on my fist one because it was totaly uncoherent and it had bad cohesion. Please criticize it... or else my professor will
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Hi again Freya,

You are working hard on this. It's hard to give you general overall comments on this essay, because I know nothing about you, eg your age /level of education, level of English. I've highlighted again and made a few comments.

Best wishes, Clive


Life is like a box
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Fr3y4a life. in life
Fr3y4suits suit
Fr3y4 Or ,or
Fr3y4 it is up to us whether we will make it is up to us to make to make out the most
Fr3y4 wants with goes through education and planning
Fr3

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