LETTER TO DEAN OF ENGINEERING HELP!

hi, can someone help me polish up this letter. i wrote it to the dean of admissions for engineering. can u please tell me if i should add anything or remove anything. anything to improve it make it more convincing? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!

To whom it may concern,

I studied civil engineering in your school between the years 2006 to 2008. I reached second year in my time at IT Tralee but due to circumstances beyond my control I needed to leave my education before I had a chance to complete my course. It has been evident that that course of action, though it was at the time necessary, was ultimately a mistake.

In the time between my unfortunate blunder and mishandling of an amazing opportunity that was given to me, I have worked at a few establishments with the goal of helping to support my family. It was always my ambition to return to education once I reached 23 and became a mature student. It is a shame that last year I was unable to do so due to economic factors. I am confident that I now am able to proceed with bettering myself and my understanding of the world through third level education.

It is my humble request that you consider allowing me to rejoin CE200 and allow me to further myself at your school.

I have aspirations of achieving the level 7 offered by your school, a BEng in civil engineering. It has taken me a long time to come back to education but I feel that it is a step in setting right so many mistakes I have made in the last few years of my life.

Thank you for considering me.

sincerely,

name.