Letter to a gallery

Question

Someone please help, I'm appalling at this!
This is a letter to try and persuade agallery to look at some of my work... Is it too disjointed? Is it even slightly inriguing? And finally, does it read well?

Thanks in advance
Jon

Dear ............,

I am a painter in West Sussex looking for an opportunity to exhibit my work. You will find a few examples of my paintings in the enclosed envelope.

My work is influenced, among others, by the painters Francis Bacon and Philip Guston and at present I draw inspiration from characters in film, literature and music. I also try to 'tell my story' by painting real life figures who I feel I can relate to.

I am 27 years old and although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins, I am mainly self taught. I made a decision to paint with a limited palette after seeing Philip Guston's work for the first time four years ago and continue to do so. I paint exclusively with acrylics and use layers of transparent mediums to bring out the true depth of the colours on canvas.

I currently work as a freelance web designer from home or in London. To date I have had two exhibitions, a group show at Gallery 47 with friends and at Wimbledon Art Studios last June.

I would welcome the chance to show you my paintings in person and would also appreciate any comments you may have about my work.

Yours sincerely,

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Hi Jon,

I have begun to revise your letter. You will see the new version sometime this weekend. To be honest, I think you have done a reasonably good job. My letter will NOT be significantly different, but it will give you some more food for thought.

Take care,
MountainHiker

MountainHiker · Answer

Jon,

I think your letter reads quite well.

One sentence stood out to me because it is the same type of structure that I have difficulty with. I am going to play with it a bit. You might find you don't like my revised letter. If that is the case, at least you are better prepared to tweak this one sentence.

1) I am 27 years old and although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins, I am mainly self taught.

Normally, I would rewrite that as....

2) I am 27 years old, and although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins, I am mainly self taught.

But I think that might be a bit careless because we have a subordinate clause that is not set off at both sides. So to be "safer" you might want to rewrite that as....

3) I am 27 years old, and, although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins, I am mainly self taught.

Now you could strike through (eliminate) "although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins" and it still reads okay.

Alternatively, you might with more emphasis on your education.

4) I am 27 years old, and although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins I am mainly self taught.

Some people go nuts with commas, others don't. That is something I still struggle with.

Here are my suggestions. If you like them, great. If not, please disregard. I struggled with this letter somewhat as I am not a cognoscente of paintings. So I might not have correctly interpreted your letter, and I might have taken some liberties in my interpretation when I rewrote it. So you will need to read my letter carefully and see that it reflects your intent. If not, adjustments to the letter will be required.

So I am just going to bluster ahead, and it will be up to you to decide what you like and accept or what requires changes. You can always post a revised letter and we can have another look at it.

One last note, I am trying to, wherever possible, put a "positive/optimistic spin" on things. I find that helps to open doors. But make sure that my “spin” is appropriate and works for you.

The Paras are just so that I can refer the paragraphs in the notes.

Dear Mr. Smith: (colon)

Para: 1
I am a 27 year old aspiring painter from West Sussex who would like to meet you to show my paintings for possible exhibition at your gallery in the near future. I have enclosed five examples of my paintings along with this letter for you to review.

Para: 2
My work is influenced heavily by painters Francis Bacon and Philip Guston. By combining their technique/structure/lighting with characters from contemporary culture, I am able to tell my story by painting real life figures. Each real life figures is important to me because I am able to relate to that figure in a personal manner.

Para: 3
Although I have studied at Chelsea School of Art and Central St Martins, I pride myself on being mainly self taught. After seeing Philip Guston's work for the first time four years ago as well as admiring the work of Francis Bacon, I decided to paint exclusively with acrylics and use layers of transparent mediums to bring out the true depth of the colours on canvas.

Para: 4
To date I have had two exhibitions, a group show at Gallery 47 with friends and at Wimbledon Art Studios last June. Both exhibits were well received.

Para: 5
Again, I would welcome the opportunity to show you my paintings in person. I will call you next week to see if you are available for a brief meeting. Thank you very much for considering my request and I look forward to meeting you and receiving any comments you may have about my work.

Yours sincerely,
You

Notes:

The Paras are just so that I can refer the paragraphs in the notes.

* Tell him specifics--exactly how many samples are included?

* Your work is influenced by *** by your major influences are Bacon and Guston? You might have adjust the first sentence in Para 2.

* I am not sure what it is about Bacon and Guston that has influenced you...so you need to modify "Using their whatever..." Is it technique, structure, lighting, style or something else? I just put in the three "technique/structure/lighting" as placeholders. Do not use the "slashes" in a real letter. Again, this is just a placeholder for a better and more accurate description of their influence.

* Rather than using "contemporary culture," you might very well prefer to go back and use "film, literature and music."

* I put the “pride myself” in to reflect your accomplishment. But perhaps it was merely a statement of fact? This is part of the positive spin. Decide if you like it.

* I am not sure I would volunteer your web designer occupation. There is nothing wrong about it. Rather, I would focus everything on my wanting to get an exhibit. This is not a big point. I try to really focus as much as I can towards my ultimate objective. I am not always successful.

* In Para 5, you have got to be a bit of a bulldog. This is not the time to be meek and mild-mannered. If the person appears unresponsive when you call, ask if you can meet for a coffee. Get some feedback from them. Most people want to help others. As long as you are polite, people are usually willing to accommodate you. But make sure that the ball remains in your court so that you can follow up. If you leave the ball in his court, it is easy for him to drop the ball and move on to the next topic.

Like most things in life, opportunities go to those who seize them. The gallery will appreciate someone who sells himself. Ultimately, those who sell themselves will also sell more paintings.

I hope this helps.

MountainHiker

Guest · Answer

MountainHiker,

Thanks very much for your help. Before discovering your reply, I took some other advice, which I think you posted, and re-worked my letter for several hours. This enabled me to strengthen some of the points you have raised. I find your post extremely helpful and will be incorporating your points into my final draft.

As an archetypal shy and retiring artist, I find it hard to be bullish but I see your point and will make sure to emphasise positive and opitimistic points in future!

If you're interested you can see my (weird, pink and potentially offensive) work at http://www.thepinkcowshow.co.uk. I hope you enjoy the show and welcome your comments.

Thanks again.

Jon

MountainHiker · Answer

Hi Jon,

I did look at your site. Very well done.

I wish you good luck in meeting with the folks from the gallery. It would be great to get a showing plus get their commentary.

Feel free to post your final draft, but only if you want to.

Again, good luck!

MountainHiker

Letter to a gallery

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